Mirror Image
by Intern Amelia
Summary: A tf2/ team fortress 2 story where suddenly the mercenaries encounter female versions of themselves from an alternate universe. Needless to say, it's a sticky situation. Also, getting the women home will not be as easy as they'd hoped... Just a quick warning, mild torture involved and some risque elements/ insinuations. Rating M to be safe, but it's probably a T in actuality.
1. Chapter 1

1. The First Chapter

Death is scary; women are terrifying. This was the approximation of the scout's thoughts when he came to, strapped in a chair and surrounded by the figures of eight very angry looking women.

He hadn't even done anything! The red team had finished their matches for the month with BLU, and their first week off in a while had just begun. Scout had only been going down the stairs to his bunk, when he'd heard a rustling sound coming from the adjoining hall.

" Oy, Pyro!" He'd called. The maniac had been picking through the rash a lot recently, sorting out the jars and plastic before setting the rest on fire. " If you leave whatever filth you dig up in there all over the bunks again it won't be me you'll answer to, but spy! And he's a lot less friendly about that than I am!"

The rustling sound halted, but instead of the muffled grunts of the Pyro, a calm female voice responded.

" Oh yeah, you sound real friendly." And the next thing scout saw was a Yankees themed aluminum bat swinging towards his head.

Now, there was a glaring light in his face, his skull throbbed and his shirt was covered in blood. The sharp, dagger like pain in his nose was probably the cause; he wanted to reach a hand up to check if it was broken. However, when he tried he felt his arms had been zip tied to the back of the chair he was strapped to.

" Where the hell am I?!" He demanded, writhing in the seat. The lamp in his face made it so he couldn't make out anything but the outlines of the people. They had female figures, except one standing in the back who he couldn't really tell. A voice other than the one of the person who'd knocked him out replied from behind him.

" We'lla be the onez asking youa tha questions." The accent was Italian, not New York Italian or some weird stereotype, but straight up Italian. It was definitely female, but that did nothing to obscure the menace behind her words.

" Wattdya mean asking me the questions? Listen broad, where am I, who are you, what the fu- AAAH!" He screamed as a gut wrenching pain split his left hand. The figure who had spoken slunk in front of him and deposited one of his fingers in his lap. The scout felt blood soak his back and his hand felt like it was being shoved in a hot stove. He screamed even louder, but the voice cut him off.

" Scream again, anda we cut off anozer." Scout winced, and did his best to swallow the absolute horror at having his finger on his legs. He was used to dying, during matches they'd just respawn and be sent out again, but he knew well enough he wouldn't be able to respawn outside of a match and pain… pain was worse than death in his opinion. The Italian woman spoke again.

" Medic, puta that ona sum ice, we'll reatatch it _IF_ he coperates, comprendere?"

" What, medic you're with them? Is that you in the back- JESUS CHRIST!" The Italian had removed another finger. Scout struggled to keep from passing out.

" Careful spy, we want him conscious. " A smooth, chocolaty,female voice responded from the scout's right.

" Fine. Only becausa you are the doctor." Scout was confused. The Italian was referring to the woman on his right as the medic, but medic was a man, and this ' medic' had called the Italian woman spy, but this wasn't spy, and good lord his hand hurt… black spots were dancing in his vision.

" Now," The Italian continued. " Who are you, where are we, and why doa you resemble the scout so much?"

" I… I am the scout." He babbled half unconscious. How could he not resemble himself? The Italian laughed.

" If youa are the scout I am a frenchman. But that lie no matter how amusing will costa you another finger."

" Wait, no, NO! I'm not lying, check my insignia! I don't know what's going on but I am the scout I swear!" He practically sobbed the last lines. He felt a warm nothing creeping in the back of his mind and he just wanted it to envelop him. His throbbing nose and aching hand pushed him further in and soon he felt himself slipping away…

A bucket of cold water brought him back to reality. Shivering, wet and hurting, but he could vaguely feel someone had bandaged his hand. The woman who claimed to be the medic spoke this time.

" We rifled through your pockets while you were unconscious, found your wallet, I.D, assorted notes; it seems you're telling the truth. You're some kind of scout working for Redmond Mann. You're one of nine mercenaries, who from your various insulting doodles on photos of them all seem to be...male." The medic, or whatever, paused. " We're currently in a basement level underneath where our scout grabbed you." She switched off the light that was burning it's way into the scout's retinas. The room was quite large, and Scout still couldn't make out the women lurking in the back, however he could confirm they were definitely in a basement. " Once we go up those stairs, you'll lead us to a type of commons area in your base. There we will turn you over to your teammates, and ask for a more definite explanation since you appear to be fairly low down in the ranks."

Well, that's rude. Scout wasn't the most important teammate, but he certainly considered himself the best. He'd say something snarky if he wasn't worried about the psychopath Italian, slicey mccrazy pants, depriving him of more fingers. All he managed was to shiver and mumble.

" What about my fingers? I n-n-need those." His teeth chattered. That water had been like Ice. The female medic held up a baggie full of ice, and his fingers.

" If my suspicions are correct then you have a medic of your own to take care of things." While someone behind him undid the zip ties, scout was able to inspect his captors more closely.

The woman claiming to be the medic certainly looked the part. She wore a lab coat bearing the medical insignia, and a medi-gun was lying on a dusty table toward the back of the basement area. Unlike the _real_ medic however ( because, she wasn't the real one, right?), this woman had no trace of German in her. Her black hair was pulled into a ponytail, but nonetheless flowed like oil down to nearly her waist; and her skin was a burnished looking brown. She seemed more like she belonged in Bombay more than Berlin.

" You don't have an accent?" He ventured.

" Yes, how observant and stereotypical of you to see that. I'm from pennsylvania douchebag. I'd love to see things from your point of view but I can't shove my head that far up my ass." Okay, not the right thing to say. The medic's face had contorted into a grimace, and she turned her back to him.

The zip ties were off, but before scout could bolt he felt petite hands wrench his arm into a pretzel-like configuration behind his back.

" Don'ta even think about running, ragazzo." The Italian hissed in his ear.

" Easy slicey, we've only just met." Scout fired back, and felt her tweak his arm a little tighter. Needless to say, he still ached like hell but nothing could deprive him of sarcasm once he knew the knives had been put away. The Italian yanked him to his feet.

" We go." She said. And soon scout found himself not so much leading, but being pushed in front of the solemn gathering of women up the stairs and into the base.

...

" Come on, just a lil' closah." The male sniper urged. He'd been relaxing with his teammates in the caf, working on fixing his saxaphone, when the Pyro had gotten into a tizzy and hacked apart one of the tables.

" What the bloody hell!" He'd yelled, when he noticed the Pyro pointing to one of the security cam monitors.

" My god." The soldier drawled. The scout was moseying through one of the hallways leading to the caf, covered in what seemed to be blood, and followed by a gaggle of eight heavily armed women.

Well, of course Engie and the spy started strategizing, but the sniper… He preferred to work solo. Now, he was lying on a row of lockers at the top of a main stairway, and had a full view of the hall they'd been following. His crosshairs matched at head level with whoever would walk through after scout. He sidled the butt of his rifle up to his shoulder. It's funny, one of the women had been carrying a medigun, another was enormous and somewhat resembled the heavy; in fact it seemed like there had been one for every class but there had been only eight of them...

" Y'all probably shouldn't do that." A soft texan voice urged from behind him.

" And there's numbah nine." He cursed to himself. He turned and saw a blonde woman in a cowboy hat manning a rifle further down the row. " Hello sweethart." He sighed.

" Whine all ya want, I still have a rifle pointed at your manhood. You make one move towar' that trigger an' you'll be pissin like a she-dog till the end of your days."

" You have make a reasonable argumant." He said, releasing his gun.

" Throw it on the ground." The woman stated.

" Wha'? But it's brand new-"

" THROW IT ON THE GROUND NOW!" She roared, before exhaling slowly, and taking several deep breaths. " Don't make the mistake of making me mad. Throw. Your. Gun_. On. The. Ground._"

" You're insane, you are." The sniper spat, but he pushed the rifle off the edge and heard it clatter to the floor.

" Smart descision." The texan urged. " Now you an' I are gonna stay right here till my friends figure out what's goin' on."

" Friends is a pretty loose term."

" How'd you know?"

" If they're anything like my 'friends', you'd all kill eachotha if ya weren't gettin' paid to kill the other guys."

" Smart." The woman replied. " But you'll find we're a bit less shallow than that. However now I can tell them that our hostage doesn't mean all that much to the rest of you."

" Wha', Scout? Kill 'im for all I care. He's an asshole." The sniper then gazed forlornly at his gun down on the ground.

He hoped nobody was planning on gaining a strategic advantage from above.


	2. Chapter 2

2. A medic's confession

Fiddling with a few gizmos he kept in his pockets, the engineer was anything but calm. Scout had gotten himself captured by a group of women eerily like themselves; that alone would set someone on edge. It was the insignias that tipped them off, class markings on the outside sleeves of each woman that indicated their type. It wasn't some BLU trick either because they were all wearing red somewhere on their bodies, and there were too many of them for it to be a spy. Plus, the matches for the month were over and something always sealed all the possible routes between bases after a match

He hadn't gotten a good look at his counterpart. She had been on the other side of a female heavy ( who on the grainy security footage didn't look all that different from the male heavy), and he could only really pick out a hard hat. She had seemed to be the shortest of the mercenaries however. The idea of facing himself but… not himself? It was a slippery mental slope to say the least.

What was also unsettling was that the scout seemed to be covered in blood, and since none of the women appeared hurt it was most likely his own. Either way, the situation was a loaded sentry gun waiting to shoot unmercilessly.

" So we just stand here?" He turned to the male medic who was on his right. The male spy was on his left.

" I haf told you, diplomacy is ze best way to approch zis situation. You, und myself and ze spy, will reason with ze females so zat zey let ze scout go, und explain zemselfs."

" Zee can keep le scout as I am concerned." The spy sneered.

" In zat case you are helping us talk sem into not shooting us!"

" But what if they don't listen?" The engineer probed. He was nervous, there was no denying it. None of them would respawn if diplomacy failed and it broke into fighting.

" Fear not!" The Medic exclaimed. " I haf diplomacy's greatest allies vaiting in ze vings; brute force!" He pointed toward the big double doors that lead from the caf to the main recreation area for the mercenaries.

" Clustered behind zat door, vaiting for ze sounds of gun shots und our likely screams are ze pyro, soldier, and heafy. Ze burst in, und vhen zey open fire it vill be a bloodbath beyond imagination!" He cackled to himself. The engineer had always somewhat doubted the medic's sanity, now it was blatantly apparent he had very little. The spy rolled his eyes and chimed in,

" Also, I'm sure zee uncouth rifleman has fled to his perch somewhere and will be covering us from abuv."

That was somewhat more reassuring. The sniper had nailed enough BLUs for the engineer not to doubt his accuracy.

" It seems zat zee women are outside our door." The spy said, pointing to the monitor on a far wall. " Prepare to try reason, and zen most likely resort to sheer bloodlust."

As soon as he finished speaking, the door to the caf was kicked in, and the scout thrown face first onto the tile floor. Eight women shuffled in behind him, some brandishing weapons, others just eyeing the three of them cooley.

" Aye can see they've provided es with a welcoming partey!" A Latina wearing a thick vest and skull cap quipped in a thick Irish accent. The spy sneered at her.

" It seems zee scout has gotten 'imself capture by a lot of little gerls." He said, coldly inspecting the groaning form of the scout. The engineer was personally taken aback, the Scout's nose was bent almost ninety degrees, his eyes were both black and… he was missing two fingers on his left hand.

A lanky woman, wearing the odd combination of a black evening dress and a ski mask, threw something at them and replied,

" Withouta much of a fight too. We tooka some uv his finger to make up for se disappointment." Her accent was Italian, and catching the item he saw it was a plastic bag full of melting ice and the scout's detached fingers.

" You can put them back on, right doc?" The scout moaned, not having moved from the floor.

" Like zey vere nevah gone. Und, I confess zat maybe zis entire situation is my fault."

That got everyone's attention, except the spy. He was glaring at the…other spy? The engineer didn't have time to bother with semantics, he simply turned to the medic and asked.

" What do you mean your fault?"

" Vell, technically it iz OUR fault my dear fellow. You remembah how ve vere experimenting vith ze teleportahs, jah?"

The engineer nodded. It began to dawn on him, and his heart sank into his stomach. This was beyond impossible, but here the women were.

" I believe you have some explaining to do then." A sonorous voice bursts in, the engineer turned his head slightly and saw an Indian woman wearing a lab coat and carrying a medi-gun striding towards them.

" I agree." Another with a thick New York accent joined. She had a rectangle figure, but was supported by shapely legs clearly used to doing a lot of running. Long brown hair fell in waves from under a baseball cap.

" Scout, I see you look better as a gerl than I believed possible." Spy teased. The female scout snarled.

" Me an' this guy got nothing in common, so you can drop it there frenchie. I'd sock you so hard it'd make your head spin if I didn't need ta' hear yer friend, capisce?"

" Oh, I'm so scared. Look scout, sum form of you can actually _attempt_ to be intimidating."

The female scout would have leaped on the spy then and there if the female heavy hadn't grabbed her by the shoulders and restrained her. It didn't stop her hurling insults however.

" Scout, please, restrain yourself." The female medic sighed. Now, I believe you were continuing with your explanation?"

" Ah, yes, vell you see," The male medic started, swallowing nervously. " Ze engineer und I vere experimenting on ze teleportahs, vhen ve found something extremely interesting. Ze teleportahs seemed to vork by _folding dimensions_. Like ze origami, ja? It folds zem togezah, so you slip between zem und back into your own like zat." He snapped his fingers to accentuate his point. " Und I had ze thought uf, vhat if we stopped it mid fold? Vhat if we could use it to slip into _ozah dimesions?_ Untire Universes different from our own?" He paused, his eyes sparkling like a mad man's. " Can you imagine ze possibilities?"

The engineer remembered this. They'd labored over a teleporter in the medibay, where Medic worked most of the time, rerouting circuits, testing hypothesis for weeks but…

" None of those experiments worked." He butted in. It was true, they'd never found a way to take themselves to an alternate dimension.

" Ah, mhm," The medic cleared his throat sheepishly. " You remembah zat blue vire ve couldn't understand?" The engineer nodded.

" Vell, last night aftah my bath I vas strolling back though ze medibay to feed archimedes vhen I zhought ' vell, vhat if za blue vire does not do anyzhing?' so I yanked it out and turned on ze teleportah. Lo und behold, ze teleportah begins to glow like london in ze blitzkrieg, but zen it sputtahd und died. I zhought nothing of it until scout here ran into his situation."

" What hour was this?" The female medic inquired.

" Promptly fifteen minutes aftah midnight." She nodded gravely.

" At twelve fifteen last night, we found ourselves in a basement under what appears to be your base."

" Wait, wait." The male scout sat up. " You are all saying that-"

" Zat zhey teleportah pulled ze entire red team from un alternate universe vhere each uf us iz uf ze opposite gendah!" The medic exclaimed, and then burst into another bout of his cackling, maniacal laugh.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3 - Getting to know you

" How will we be getting home?" The female heavy boomed. She was a giant, over six feet with bulging muscles and stringy hair the color of deijon mustard. She was also not someone to be kept from getting her way.

That paused the male medic. " Admittedly Fraulein, I have no idea." A general uproar arose. The female scout was raring to hit something, protests bursting from lips left and right, the Italian spy fingered a knife angrily.

" Frauleins! Frauleins please! I said zat I did not know, not zat I vould not try!" The medic shouted at the top of his lungs. The angry shouts died to discontented murmurs. " It is most likely possible for ze teleporter to be vorked in reverse, howevah it vill take some time-"

" We'll help. I don't want any funny business on this." The female medic gestured to herself and the female engineer, a strawberry blonde who couldn't be over five one.

" Excellent. Vith myself and our engineer on ze case, along vith two mor eof ze same minds it should take no more zan a veek."

" We hafta spend a WEEK with you freaks?!" The female scout roared.

" I hopa you do not expect to spend too mucha time around us. If find you particularly… unappetizing." The female spy sneered at the male, who glowered back.

" Ve have some extra bunk facilities down zat hallvay, but I pray Frauleins you vill not be strangers, I vould luff to test certain factors uf your bio-"

" My team are not your guinea pigs, Doctor Frankenstein. No one's testing anything but me." The female medic glared, while the male seemed thoroughly put off.

" But Fraulein you und your companions haf travelled across _dimensions_! Can you imagine the medical or scientific value uf somezing-"

" _No one." _ Her voice dropped almost a full octave, and her eyes could have frozen lava. " I'm still waiting for results on heavy's second heart."

" My what?" Their heavy pronounced, but the medic waved her hand impatiently.

" I suggest we start work on the teleporter immediately. "

" A brilliant idea, come, I shall show you my lab!" The male medic sped off to the medibay like a schoolboy released for christmas vacation.

" What about my hand?" The scout whined.

" Oh, just follow him and have him reattach it in zee medibay. You can't zhink you way out of a plastic bag, can you?" The male spy spat before stalking out haughtily. This entire business had absolutely no appeal to him, and he intended to stay well out of it.

And so, the various parties dispersed. All medics and engineers went to the medibay to see the teleporter, some of the women ambled off in the direction the medic had indicated there were extra bunks, but others decided to ramble aimlessly.

They were in another dimension after all.


	4. Chapter 3, Sub Chapter 1

Getting to know you, subchapter one: Spies

Other dimensional women? Some would expect him to be extremely invested in whatever occurrences ensued, but in all honesty he had no interest. The spy had wrinkled his suit in the earlier hubbub, and he was going to need to find a way to solve that before it ruined his entire day.

Striding down the hall, he noticed a slight shimmering around one of the doorways.

" You know zhat cloaking yourself does nosing to disguise you from me?" He snapped, and soon the shimmer was replaced by a lanky figure in an evening dress and a ski mask.

" You seema to be smarter than the rest of your teamamates." She smirked

" What do you expect? You and I are one and the same, no?"

" I would saya not." She smirked. " You are francese , I am Italiano. You seema to like the torment of others while I-" She strode across, laid a hand over the Spy's chest, and brought her face very close to his ear. Her breath wafted over him and smelled heavily of peppermint " I relish in it. I loveda every moment of your little scout's screams, and I would not hesitate to do that to anyone else." A devilish smile split her face; the vaguely concealed threat pointed in his direction like a rifle.

" Madame it is a fine tightrope to walk between espionage and insanity, and I'm afraid you have plummeted down zee hundred foot drop into a pool full of flaming sharks. Good bye." He promptly pushed her hand off him, and strode off while listening to her giggle to herself behind him.

" You cana call me Giulia!" She yelled.

" You can consider me an enemy." He replied. This woman was clearly insane, and the insane had no sense of decency whatsoever. Without decency the entire world would be like a bunch of maniacal scouts running around in their own slop. He shuddered at the thought. Giulia seemed just as willing to cut up her own team than steal from the opposite; no morals, no sense of cooperation( even though he himself had very little it was still necessary to have some), and that dress was clearly a cheap knock off.

Yes, he and Giulia were very different indeed.


	5. Chapter 3, Sub Chapter 2

Getting to know you, subchapter two: Heavies

No one had screamed, or shot anything in the entire encounter with the women. Heavy had been told there was going to be screaming and shooting, and so was disappointed at the lack of bloodshed. Hunger, however, was clawing at his belly and no bloodshed meant he could finish that sandwich leftover from lunch much sooner than if he had had to do any shooting. It was a reasonable compromise.

He whistled an old tune his mother used to sing to his sisters as he went through a door adjoining the cafeteria, and into the kitchen. The kitchen was small compared to the rest of the base, but the hexagon shaped room still managed to hold two stoves, a microwave, a fridge, and several dozen unopened crates of food rations.

And it was made even smaller by the presence of the female heavy, currently scouring through the fridge.

" Vat are hyou doing in sere?" He demanded, and saw her head lift with… his sandwich dangling out of her thin lipped mouth. The heavy let out a bellow like a wounded wildebeest and prepared to charge at the woman, when she slammed the fridge door and revealed she had an entire plate of sandwiches at the ready.

" I made se extra." She grunted while shoving the remainder of the sandwich in her mouth. " You want share?" The male heavy pulled up short. He could snap her spine for eating _his_ sandwich, or he could accept her offer and get half a plate in recompense.

" Sharing is good."

" Da." The female heavy brought the plate over, and broke it in half. Handing the half plate and sandwiches over to the male, she continued. " Mother Russia, is she hyour homeland as well?" The male nodded, simultaneously thrusting three of the sandwiches down his throat. There was silence except for a few grunting sounds as the pair guzzled their sandwiches. Once he finished, the male cleared his throat.

" My name is Misha. And... about se gulags back home… If ve are se same you were in one in your Russia. Vere?"

" My name is Mariya." The female heavy said as she made her way toward the door to the cafeteria. She paused before going through, and tossed over her shoulder, " I was never in se gulags. My family supported se revolution." She then did her best to squeeze her way through the narrow door, and marched away from the kitchen.

After she left, Misha muttered to himself,

" Sen ve are most definitely not se same."


	6. Chapter 3, Sub Chapter 3

Getting to know you, subchapter three: Medics

" You are either the most brilliant or the most idiotic man I've ever met." The female medic said while surveying the inside of the teleporter.

" Miss, I believed that's the description of the medic I've ever heard." The male engineer chuckled to himself. The engineers and medics had entered the medibay, and immediately begun dissecting the device responsible for all the chaos.

" But look here," The female engineer butted in. She had a shrill voice and pointed nose that made her seem like a rodent of some kind. " They've disengaged the safety routers and hooked them into the RF-T cortex. That's lunacy!"

" Zis entire situation is lunacy fraulein." The male medic huffed. The female engineer straightened.

" In theory, we're simply going to reverse this right?"

" Ja."

" Then we need tools." She turned to the male engineer. " Lead the way." Shrugging, the male engineer shuffled out, his petite counterpart close on his heels.

" Sorry 'bout Lucy. She's talented but she's used to getting her way." The female medic said, looking up from the teleporter.

" I'm not complaining. Tell me, vhat do you zhink uf _our_ engineer?" There was a hesitant curiosity in his voice.

" Honestly?"

" How else?"

" Seems smart. Quiet enough. Really pretty eyes. Why, is he off limits or something?"

" Let me fraise it zhis vay, he is not taken but if you make a move I vill destroy you in effery vay I can imagine."

" Too shy to make a move yourself?"

" I am not shy!" The male medic huffed. " He just has a vay uf making me somevhat tied tongued, zat's all!"

" Tongue tied."

" Shut up! Need I make it more obfious zis is not my first language?"

" Whoah buddy, calm down. Engineer is all yours. Heck, you can have both if you want" The female medic smirked. " This is like the set up for some lame soap opera. The medic who cannot tell his crush he is in love."

" Oh, and I suppose za fraulein has had _all_ ze gentlemen knocking on her door, ja?"

" Umm, no." The female medic went back to inspecting the teleporter. " Guys aren't really my area."

" You prefer ze other frauleins?" She shook her head.

" Haven't met anyone I like that way. Can we stop talking about what I find attractive? Love just means your nether regions are trying to get someone knocked up and I'm glad I haven't found it yet." A bitter edge crept into the last few words.

" My apologies fraulein, I did not mean to pry."

"Yeah, well, you did. Let's switch topics. I'm Saanvi by the way, Saanvi Ghosh. Don't assume I'm not an American just because my name isn't. "

"Guten Tag, Saanvi. My name is my buziness, howevah, I haf a topic to discuss in mind."

" Shoot."

" Vhat do you zhink, uf ze musical theatre?" As a smile crept onto the male medic's face, Saanvi's eyes light up.

" You know Fritz-"

" Fritz is not my name."

" Yeah, well I gotta call you something. As I was saying, _Fritz_, we may have more in common than I originally thought."


	7. Chapter 3, Sub Chapter 4

Getting to know you, subchapter four: Soldiers

Heavy had had to explain to soldier several times that they were not going to kill anyone anymore.

" RETREAT? The idea is cowardly and un american!"

" No, soldiah, we are not retreating if we vere never attacking."

" Not attacking?! Why the hell did you sign up for the army if you didn't want to attack anything? CHARGE!" He'd roared and burst through the door into the cafeteria. Luckily, everyone had dispersed already.

" Ha! You see, you get on the offense and the enemy runs like cockroaches!" Another American victory!"

But the heavy wasn't listening anymore. He'd wandered off into the kitchen, something about a sandwich. Calling in a bark like pattern, a female voice suddenly burst out from across the room.

" A victory for America is a victory for me!" A woman of asiatic descent marched out in full camouflage uniform, her hair pulled into a bun so tight it was a wonder it didn't all pull out of her scalp.

" What, an asian?! The Japanese are invading! It's pearl harbor all over again, to your battlestations men!"

" Japanese, where?!" The female soldier scampered to the male soldier's side of the room. " All I see are you and I, Americans to the core right soldier?"

"You're not a Japanese pilot?"

" AMERICA!" Was all the woman screamed in response. Good enough for the soldier. No asiatic scum would be so fervent about democracy.

The pair of them spent the rest of the evening fortifying one of the cafeteria doors. If those Japs showed their ugly mugs again, they'd be there to show them who's boss.

Life, liberty, freedom, the american dream.


	8. Chapter 3, Sub Chapter5

Getting to know you, subchapter five: Engineers

" I can't get this goddamn door opened!" The engineer cursed as he jiggled the handle on one of the doors to the cafeteria. He and the female engineer had grabbed the things she wanted from his tool closet, and as a shortcut back to the medibay they decided to go through the cafeteria. Now, the door wouldn't open, and it almost sounded like there were voices on the other side.

" SOLDIER IF THIS IS YOUR FAULT I'M GOING TO MELT YOUR SHOVEL INTO BULLETS AND SHOOT THEM AT YOU!"

A muffled cry of " The Japanese!" from inside was all that answered.

" So, your soldier's just as braindead as ours?" The female engineer drawled.

" Probably more so. I checked his records, he's never even been in a war."

" Strange. Ours has been in a couple, but she did it under her brother's name. Mulan type of deal, no racial whatevers intended. Honestly I think they let her in the army for her sheer bloodlust. Capital B Beserk that one when it comes to fighting." Her shrill voice hung onto vowels in a way clearly marking origins in the deep south. After kicking the door and cursing a few more times, the engineer turned.

" Guess we're taking the long way 'round. And by the way, is that a texas accent I hear?"

" Nah, Mississippi. Sniper's from Texas though." The male engineer started leading down a nearby stairwell, his companion following. She was so short comparatively her head barely came under his shoulder.

" I don't really mind taking the long way. It's interesting seeing all this." She mused while balancing the assortment of wrenches, soldering iron, and other tools piled in her arms.

" What? A base? Once you've seen once you've seen 'em all in my opinion."

" Well, kind of, but… this all is different. It's another _dimension_. I'm a guy here!" She paused, and looked up at him. " A tall guy. It's all strange, and new, and better than anything we got at home. I almost don't want to go back."

The engineer wasn't quite sure how to respond. He wasn't big into all the hypothesizing about alternate universes and what not. He solved practical problems for a living, he didn't dabble in theories. So, he simply did the polite thing.

" I'm Dell. Dell Conagher."

" Lucy Shea." She shuffled around the tools, and stuck out her hand. Dell took it, and felt her hand like a small bird enveloped in his own. A thought wandered into his mind.

" How old are you anyway?"

" Old enough." She sniffed.

" Cow shit. I've been thinking about this. You're tiny, you're voice is high, your hands are miniscule, you've got no…" He paused, carefully fraising his words. " Chest. Even more so than a regular woman your size, AND I can see pimples forming around your nose. You can't be more than thirteen!"

" I'm sixteen; I'm a late bloomer!" Snapping, she shuffled the tools so her torso was out of sight. " And age is just a number. That's not a fraise only old people can toss about. I've got four PhDs, working on the fifth and my sentry gun is officially patented as of last year. Not all sixteen year olds can do that so I don't see why I'm always grouped with the rest of them. I am _plenty_ mature, more'n enough to do this job."

Dell thought of all the times he'd seen his teammates heads blown off. He thought of watching them burn to death, or explode, or be shot full of more holes than swiss cheese just to respawn and do it all again. The kind of things that haunt the staunchest of men, these mercenaries were subjected to every day. It makes visions of blood and gore come to visit in the small hours of the morning, and you can't get back to sleep 'cause all that's in your mind is the sounds of men's screams and the coppery scent of blood…

" This isn't a job for a sixteen year old to be doing." He said quietly. " It screws you over for the rest of your life." Lucy just rolled her eyes.

" I'm not some delicate flower to be protected. I can handle it. We're going this way, right?" With that she trotted ahead of him down the stairs. Dell shook his head.

" It ain't right." He muttered quietly before following her.


	9. Chapter 3, Sub Chapter 6

Getting to know you, subchapter six: Demolitions

Big foot, the loch ness monster, and a one legged Irish Latina; what do they all have in common? That's it, their commonality. The female demolitions was a lone wolf, only one of her type, and had had difficulties connecting with people because of it.

And, because of this difficulty, when she saw most of her team heading toward various rooms of the base she did her best to head in exactly the opposite direction. Now she and her prosthetic leg were two staircases down, and wandering along a dusty basement hall where her only company was a few spiders.

Or so she had thought. Then she heard the singing.

" _Mai son David,_

_Yer son David,_

_Bloody shame it is." _ The lyrics were slurred, off beat, and interrupted by various hiccups. She recognized the song. Dad would come home singing it whenever he'd been out drinking with Scotsmen. My son David, she thought it was called. Sad tune, lamenting how a bunch of people died for freedom. She hummed the next couple bars, and promptly heard the drunken singing stop.

" Heuw's aout there?" A gutteral, masculine voice called. He had a scottish accent.

" Nobudy." She replied.

" Well, wud this 'noebody' like a dreink?"

Hell, she could never turn down a drink. Her father had been a boozer, her grandfather had been a boozer, her brothers were boozers, at this point it was practically a tradition. A door creaked open a little further down the hall and light spilled out. The female demolitionist meandered over, and saw what was inside.

There was a desk made out of various empty crates in a small room, surrounded by crates full of bottles of various kinds. Huddled over the desk, sucking on a flask, was an enormous black man missing an eye. He squinted his eyes at her.

" So," He hiccuped " Yer the wun Heuw's supposed ta be me, or some shit?" He was very, very drunk.

" I don' think so. We 'ave the same pruffession, an' ai can tell jus' bai lukin' at yue that's about awl."

" An eirish woman?" He giggled. " Maight as well have made me inta' a sheep."

" Why, so ya could fuck me? Typical scott."

" Oi, now thas' goen too far."

" Don' compare me to loivestock then." The scotsman made a noncommittal gesture, and then offered her the flask. She accepted, taking a long draught. Promptly she gasped in horror.

" Wha' is this pig swill yur drinkin'?"

" Pig swill?! Tha's traditional DeGroot whiskey, ai'll have yue know."

" Scotts should stick to thair beer. Whiskey makin' belongs to the oirish."

They traded insults like this for several minutes. She would bash the scots, he would mock the irish. After going through several more bottles of scottish whiskey they moved onto race, several slurs coming up against mexicans and the female was delighted to bring up her grandparents were, in fact, Peruvian. Once each other's grandparents had been called whores and cowards, and an entire crate of whiskey later, it seemed the demolitionists were grudging friends.

" Well, if yue *hic* can drink leik a scott… yer awlright in mai book. Tavish *hic* Finnegan DeGroot... at yer service." Tavish was slumped over the desk. The female answered him from the crate she was leaning up against from the floor.

" Aoife Ruiz."

" Eva? Tha's not a very eirish name *hic*" Aoife burst into giggles.

" Iss' not EVA is', AOIFE. Like.. if one a' those londoners treis to say ayefort. Thei leave off the 'rt' and make some weird ef noise at the end instea'." Another fit of giggles.

" 'sa pretty name." The demoman mumbled before passing out.

" Tavish is no' so bad either." Aoife whispered.


	10. Chapter 3, Sub Chapter 7

Getting to know you, subchapter seven: Pyros

The Pyro on the male team was having a marvelous day. The bubbling cherubs in his world of candy canes and rainbows had let him alone after they all hid behind a giant gumdrop together, and so he was frolicking along through hills made of cotton candy. Music played softly in the distance, nostalgic music that made everyone in the world giddy.

But then Pyro saw something not so happy. A bunch of grey, nasty, dirty gnomes were at the bottom of one of the cotton candy hills. They were piling on top of each other, and looked grumpy and sad. Pyro wanted to help the gnomes, but how to do it? Bubbles! Of course, bubbles were the key! He reached around to whip out his bubblemaker, but remembered he'd left it on the other side of rainbow lake. How sad; Pyro could not help the filthy gnomes.

But then, he saw something coming over the next cotton candy hill. It was another pyro! This pyro was shooting bubbles through a bubblemaker, skipping and laughing, and the filthy gnomes were surrounded by the bubbles and they all began to smile.

" Mhmmhhm!" The first pyro called.

" Mhmhjm mhh! Mhhhmhnm mnmnhhm mhm. " The second replied. What marvelous insight into their character! How astute, how classy and informed their speech. How wonderful the numerous things it revealed about them. You don't meet someone like that everyday, let me tell ya folks.

The pyros danced together with the filthy gnomes, surrounded by bubbles and a rainbow split the bubblegum pink sky.

…

The male scout looked on in dumbfounded horror as the pyros from both teams gathered the entire bases trash cans into a single closet, and set them on fire. They kicked the scattered ashes of burned chip wrappers and rotting vegetables into the hall with malicious force, the entire time spewing more flame.

Shaking his head and walking away, the scout wondered what decisions in his life had led him to be around this sort of insanity.


	11. Chapter 3, Sub Chapter 8

Getting to know you, subchapter eight: Scouts

Number one rule for speaking to a New Yorker: If you're from Boston _do not bring up baseball_. As the male Scout's two main icebreakers were baseball and sex, ( and he most certainly did not want to talk about sex with a girl) he was left wishing to avoid his alternate universe counterpart at all costs. Plus, you know the fact that she knocked him out and dragged him into a den full of girls that cut his fingers off kind of put a damper on their relationship.

He was leaving the insane scene presented by the pyros, both fingers reattached by the medic, when he passed by the female scout exiting one of the bathrooms. He nodded tersely, she raised an eyebrow and he began shuffling off in the opposite direction.

" Yo, waittuppa sec." She voiced. He turned, if reluctantly. " Look I'm a Scout, you're a Scout. This'll get confusin' as hell if one of us don' gotta name. I don' give a fuck who you are, I'm Chloe Tez, goodbye." She whirled on her heel to walk away.

" No way is your real last name Tez!"

" Well, you're right it's not. But I would be extremely offended by that if it was, AND is' nonna your fucking business what ma' last name is." Her words flew out like machine gun bullets, each one right after the other and seemingly punching holes in their designated victim. God, Scout hated New Yorkers.

Their entire interaction would have ended there if not for a glow of headlights piercing through the twilight that seeped from a nearby hall window. Chloe dashed over, and soon gave a low whistle.

" Hello, who's this fine thing?"

" What the hella' you talkin' bout? Lemme see." Scout elbowed his way over. In the courtyard down below the back of the base, a van with the logo of TF Industries had pulled in. A well built woman with sleek black hair and round glasses had stepped out, and was making her way inside.

" What, Miss Pauling?" Scout said incredulously.

" Damn, she's real nice. I'd love to-"

" Wait, whoa, whoa! Uh-uh, no way. You ain't doing anything with any bit of her."

" Oh come on, give a girl a break! First day in another universe, I have to use a sci-fi pickup cliche to get in _someone's_ pants."

" First of all, ew." Scout had never understood homosexuality; lesbian sex was not hot no matter what his brothers said. He wouldn't persecute gayness but he still liked to imagine that he lived in a perfect world where everyone is straight and stuff like… gay sex did not exist.

" And secondly, Miss Pauling ain't our type."

" Whattdya mean OUR type?"

" Well you're me, and I know our type. Miss Pauling's not some girl you pick up by paying for the fried chicken, she's a _lady_. Reads an' shit. She won't be interested in the likes of you or me."

" I'm not you! You're some beatdown, poor kid from the south end of Boston and your team sucks. I got siblings going through college, for free. Not 'cause we're poor or anything, 'cause they're so smart the colleges want them there. You probably just don't wan' me trying for her cause you're a jealous little homophobic pea brain!"

" Well I was here first! I been trying to date Miss Pauling, not just fuck her, date her for forever. You can't just swan in here with your lesbianism and sweep her off her feet, It's not fair! First come first served!"

" Whatever dude. You know what I am gonna get this Pauling chick in under a week, and I'm going to laugh as you squirm over it." Chloe sauntered off towards the direction of the door Miss Pauling was coming in on. Scout didn't know what to do, he could lose all the progress he made with Miss Pauling if she was one of those bisexuals, or whatever. Chloe was not hard on the eyes, he'd say that, it'd be easy for her to get anyone's attention. Should he follow, or not... He started to storm after Chloe, already several yards away, but he stopped himself.

" BITCH!" Was all he called indignantly, and watched as she raised her middle finger in a mocking salute.

Fucking lesbians man.


	12. Chapter 3, Sub Chapter 9

Getting to know you, subchapter nine: Snipers.

Don't think of liquids. Don't think of water, of cool blissful water gushing through moisture laden valleys. Definitely do not think about that.

" Hey, ya know oi think its been long enough where you can let me get down. We'da known if there was foitin' at this point." The sniper had been laying on his belly atop the lockers for hours, he was hungry, tired, and the lights from outside were starting to fade. Nobody was going to remember to flip the switch for the hall lights, they never did.

" You can never tell." The texan muttered back. She was still diligently manning her rifle.

" Goddammit woman, I gotta piss!" He snapped. This was just unprofessional, he didn't even have a jar to go in or anything.

" Can piss all you want right there. I ain't moving till I get the signal."

" And wha' exactly is this mystical signal? Wha's it signaling?"

" I have no idea. I'll know it when I see it." The male sniper groaned, and turned to roll over.

" Don't move!" The female snapped.

" Oh, for christ's sake, I'm READJUSTING MY BODY PARTS. IS THAT ALRIGHT OR ARE WE GONNA MAKE IT A FEDERAL ISSUE?!"

" DON'T TEST ME!" The female sniper roared back.

" You're insane!" The male fired.

" DON'T. _TEST. ME!" _ She bellowed again. Spinning the rifle, she turned and fired several shots into the lockers on the other side of the hall. She snorted like a bull, cricked her neck, and turned back to the male.

" Now look at that, I've wasted ammo. Call me insane one more time and I'll be wasting it by riddling you spindly form full of holes."

" Yeah, because wha' you just did is a perfect display of normal human behavior."

" I AM NORMAL. IT'S A MINOR ANGER CONDITION; THAT'S ALL!" The texan was clenching her fists, and breathing heavily. The male sniper was of course disgusted, but all he could do was roll over and mutter,

"Unprofessional." To himself. This job put you a coin toss away from getting crazed psychopaths behind advanced weaponry; he'd clearly gotten the tail end of this flip. Trying his best to definitely not think of the ocean, or lemonade, or waterfalls with thousands of gallons of liquid pouring down them every second the sniper lay quietly.

Until an explosion boomed from what sounded like the medibay. Fire alarms blared, sprinkles jetted into action, and there was the distant ring of someone screaming angrily in German.

" Well, good enough of a signal for me." The texan grabbed her gun and hopped off the locker, sprinting in the direction of the explosion.

" Bloody insane." The Sniper muttered, before crawling off and stretching his cramped limbs. Should probably go see what havoc the medic had wreaked now, also check what was up with all these women, see if there was any food left over…But as the male sniper scooped his gun off the ground and inspected it for damage, he realized he really did not care.

But Jesus Christ did these sprinklers remind him that he needed to find a bathroom.


	13. Chapter 4

4. An assistant's life

Nothing could be easy could it? All Miss Pauling had wanted was a bubble bath, some relaxing music and a new novel this evening but nope, couldn't happen. She had finished work, she had no hours after seven scheduled but one phone call from the administrator and she had to be in a crappy smelling van, going to a crappy smelling base, to be surrounded by crappy smelling people.

And what happens when you are surrounded by crappy smelling people who kill each other for a living? Oh, nothing much, just you know getting soaked to the bone by sprinklers set off by an exploding teleporter. And that wasn't even the unusual part, no. Teleporters explode all the time because Mann co makes shitty products that end up costing more in repairs then installing them did. No, the big issue was that THERE'S A WHOLE BUNCH OF HEAVILY ARMED STRANGE WOMEN RUNNING LOOSE IN THE BASE.

" Today is not my day." Miss Pauling gritted her teeth as she surveyed the room. Ceiling sprinklers were dousing everything in sight, alarms and lights were flashing while the medic and some strange Indian woman dressed like the medic were running around like chickens without heads because a teleporter was on fire and so was most of the lab equipment. Ceiling sprinklers took care of the flames, and an engineer who was peculiarly small shut off the alarms but Medic was still shrieking in panicked German.

"Feuer, Feuer im Labor!"

" Medic, chill out the fire's gone! Will someone please explain to me what the hell is going on?"

" I donno I'm jus' as befuddled as you." A brunette with a new york accent answered. She had met Miss Pauling at the door, and followed her through the base the whole time making fairly cheesy compliments. Miss Pauling had only responded by rolling her eyes, but seriously? You're in a mercenary base you're not supposed to know exists, dressed like a mercenary yourself, and you start hitting on the first person to come in from the outside world? Not even an explanation to your presence, just shallow things about how someone's ass is nice?

Even though Miss Pauling secretly prided herself on that very ass it did not make it okay to not explain yourself. She exasperatedly stuck two fingers in her mouth making a shrill whistle that could have made a cab two miles away stop for passengers. All activity in the lab halted abruptly.

" I am having a _terrible_ night so far so you people better start explaining. Why did a teleporter explode, why are there a bunch of women dressed like mercenaries here, and- god dammit if you are touching my ass I am going to make you disappear in such a way they will never even find teeth!" Her voice rose to a shout in the last few words, and the brunette backed away with her hands in the air.

" Fraulein Pauling, Frauen unserer Klassen haben hier aus einer anderen Dimension angesaugt und wir versuchten, sie nach Hause zu schicken, wenn -" The male medic began spouting rapidly but Miss Pauling cut him off

" Please, English Medic. My German's rusty and I think I'm feeling a headache start." She rubbed her temples, feeling an ache behind her eyes. Medic took a deep breath, and then began speaking slower.

" Ze engineer und I accidentally teleported ze red team from un alternate univers vere ze members uff our classes are females. Ve vere trying to teleport zem home but-" He waved his hand helplessly at the teleporter. "Somezing vent wrong."

" I'm not drunk enough for this." Miss Pauling sighed. First the thing with the bread a few weeks ago, now this? She'd permanently abandoned disbelief with this job, and she didn't doubt the team's capability but… can anyone here give a little warning when they're about to do something totally crazy?

" Fraulein, forgive me, but vhy are you here?" The medic interrupted her internal sulking.

" I don't know. Administrator called me, something about a check in visit which I've never done before but whatever. Sent me over to the base in a company van. Oh, god what am I going to tell her about this? You know she'll blow a gasket about all theses girls and then I'm probably going to have to assassinate them!"

" You could lie about it." A familiar voice chimed in from the doorway. Miss Pauling turned, and among several others clustered in the hall she saw the male scout.

" Scout, have you ever heard of anyone lying to the administrator?"

" Well, no but-"

" Exactly. Because she always knows when people are lying to her, and I ' take care of' them, including burning all records of the incident. I would prefer not to be reduced to a few ashes of my file cluttering up the fireplace of her new assistant after they've disposed of my body."

That presented problems, but Dell's quiet voice rang from the other side of the medibay.

" You don't have to lie. Just wait here until we fix the teleporter and send the other team home. When you go back say there was a slight problem, but it's all taken care of. If this is a check in thing I assume she wants you to correct any issues."

" There are so many holes in that plan it may as well be the ozone layer, but since I won't technically be lying to her and I don't want to be killing even _more_ people this weekend I'll roll with it." Miss Pauling knew there was a bathtub somewhere in this base, maybe one of these ruffians had a bar of soap. Her evening could still be salvaged. " What's the time estimate on getting this teleporter working?"

" Vith ze explosion? At least five days." She groaned internally, but out loud only said

" Fine, fine. I'm going to take a bath." And stormed off. Five days here, good thing she didn't have any social life.

…...

Several hours later, the male medic was alone in his medibay. It's pristine white tables had been scorched from the fire, walls burned, tools destroyed. He would have been fairly upset about this if he wasn't so interested in the charred remnants of the teleporters inner workings.

The engineers and female medic had retired long ago, it was late enough to be considered early morning but there was something fascinating about this…

" Zese vires are all out of place." He mumbled to himself, his fingers probing the ashen gadgetry. No wonder the thing had exploded, it looked like someone had yanked a bunch of random wires out and jammed them into plugs they didn't belong in.

If he didn't know better, he'd almost say it was sabotage.


	14. Chapter 5

5. The morning after Aoife woke up with possibly one of the worst hangovers she could ever remember having. Her head pounded like someone had let loose a bunch of trolls inside it, and they were happily pulling apart anything that functioned in anyway resembling thought. Light hurt, sound hurt, everything just hurt. " Lousy godam stoopid sco'ish whiskey." She cursed. First day in another universe and what does she do? Goes and drinks herself into a stupor. Dad would be proud. She rolled over, trying to squint at her surroundings without managing to let any light get to her eyes. Poor strategy; but otherwise it felt like someone was branding cattle and her eyes were the cows. She managed to make out she was still on the dirty floor of the closet sized room she'd been in last night, but the door lay open a crack and the other demolitionist was gone. What had he said his name was? Taylor, Tammy, no- that's stupid. Tavish. It was Tavish. She groaned as she pulled herself to her feet and shuffled out of the door. " Ay'm sorry 'bout last night." A deep voice said from behind her. Aoife jumped, and quickly lost balance as her prosthetic leg clattered to the floor. " Must've leusened the strahps last noight and not toightened 'em again." She cursed, bracing herself against a wall. Tavish was looking at her, concerned. " Will yue quit gawkin' an' help a poor cripple?" She snapped. There goes her chances of being treated like a normal human. He drank with her like an equal last night because he didn't notice her leg, he treated her like that because he thought she was whole. From here on out it would be the pinched smile and questions like " Aoife, are you sure you can make it up those stairs?" she'd grown so accustomed to. " Sorry, didn' mean ta stare." He said quickly, before grabbing her prosthetic and handing it to her. Self consciously she attached it to the nub of a thigh that remained. " Bombinomicon's what took ma' eye. Same thing get yer leg?" Tavish ventured, tapping the black eyepatch on his face. " Unless tha's slang fer bus accident, noe." She quipped back. There was an awkward silence. Aoife's head still beat like a drum, and she'd like to not be the zoo exhibit she felt like she'd become as quickly as possible. " Aneway, Ay am sorry." He repeated. " Fer wha'?" " Las' night. I was drunker than a sailor on shore leave, i's no way ta' greet a layday, and Ay'm sorry." " Oi'm not used to behan cawled a layday." Aoife smiled, but then felt like she less deserved the compliment when she threw up all over Tavish's shoes. He flinched, but then grinned. " Yer in worse shape 'n a cat in a dogpark! Come on, we've gotta get sum breakfast in ya. Nuthan' cures a hangover like a gud breakfast, an' then ay've got plenty a water an' orange juice ta' get hydrated." He half supported, half dragged Aoife along to the stairs. " Ay maight need yer help to get the vomit outta mai shoes however." He chuckled, and Aoife chuckled too. It felt nice to lean against Tavish, he was stockily built but he wasn't fat, and she could feel warmth seeping from him onto her. Of course her puke made everything smell like the inside of a stomach, and that somewhat killed the mood, but for now it was just nice to have somebody to lean on. …. Medic's log, Dr. Saanvi Ghosh Day one after explosion. My colleague, here on out referred to as such, is keeping a detailed log on our proceedings with the inter-dimensional teleporter. However, as his notes are all in german, I can't make heads or tails of them and neither can our engineers. I'm taking the liberty of recording our progress in english so we may ALL remember our exact procedures. Engineers are spearheading most of the movement, even though my colleague somewhat brilliant neither he nor I are as mechanically minded and so we must act as something of glorified assistants/ concept engineers. Today we are replacing the inner workings of the teleporter that were burned out or otherwise destroyed in the explosion yesterday. The male engineer is making swift work of it, Lucy directing some as well. However, we ran into an incident with the F-45 valve that wasted nearly three hours. It seemed originally the valve was not damaged in the explosion, simply loosened a bit. When the engineers went to screw it back in however, in was completely missing. We scoured the lab, thinking it simply rolled under a table, but it was no where to be found. It's an essential part for the teleporter, so all progress had to put on halt while we procured a new one. Hopefully this is the last mishap in our progress. Other parts that need work: 6 wires connecting central mechanisms were completely burned to cinders along with most power converters Energy Grappler damaged Outer casing must be fully replaced Various circuitry and safety hoses loosened.  
Once all parts are replaced we may begin reverse engineering its interdimensional powers. I hope we finish it soon, almost everyone at this base seems to continually have their minds blown that I am not Indian in nationality. A band of lobotomized baboons would have more brain cells than some of this bunch. 


	15. Chapter 6

6. Afternoon with a spy

" Zis is absolutely disgusting!" The male spy roared. That filthy Pyro, little better than a trained dog, had once again left the scattered remnants of its manic trash burning spewed across the hall. Now that there was two of the little beasts there was twice the rubble, twice the filth, and twice the insanity.

" I don't understand why we can't just fire sem both and hire a mercenary who can at least dress properly!" He cursed to himself. Tiptoeing around the...waste that was scattered around the burned out closet the spy thought ( not unprecedentedly) that he may be the only civilized person on the entire red team.

" Ey, wha's this catastrophe?" In the spy's opinion one of the ugliest accents in the entirety of mankind leaked into his ears. Speak of uncivilized.

" It seems zat our little _malades mentaux_ friends have burned our garbage and taken the liberty of leaving us some of the remnants." He snapped, looking at the male sniper exiting his quarters.

" Well, oi don' speak french, but oi get tha' feeling you don't find this very funny." The sniper smirked at the spy's discomfort. Absolute creten.

" What and you do?" Spy glared, picking his way around a particularly charred heap.

" S'not the worst thing they coulda done. One of us coulda been set on foir for all they seem to care."

" Well then one less person would be forced to participate in this ear grating conversation." There was a brief silence, blessed silence, but then the sniper opened his mouth again and more of his butchered vowels assaulted the spy.

" You're almost as sullen as that goddam texan."

" What? Se engineer?" The spy wasn't stupid, he knew the sniper meant the woman, but seeing his face twitch in annoyance was satisfying. The way his chiseled jaw tightened… no, what the hell? His jaw wasn't chiseled it was uncleanly and disgusting with its almost clean shaven but not quite there appearance. His shirt in no way complimented his figure at all either.

" You know what your problem is Spy?"

" I have no idea I had a problem." The spy tossed dismissively.

" Your problem is you're a twat. You're professional, oi like that. Know how to choose a suit, also a noice feature. Your stumbling block is you're so goddam hoigh and moighty ya' never know when you need to just take the stick out ya' ass and have a good time. So wha' they scattered trash in the hall? It's gross an' a little untidy but they had fun doin' it."

" It is uncivilized and disgusting and I will not stand for it! This is on the scout's level of slop and squalor!"

" Oh, go chop off another monarch's 'ead will ya? What'd scout ever do to you anyway?" Sniper was bothered now, his teeth were clenched and he seemed to be balling his fists.

" You know, English is not my first language and I still mangle it less than you do." A low blow, but so had been the revolution reference. They were in each other's face, nose to nose so they couldn't focus their attention on anything else. The spy was increasingly conscious of the fact that his shoe was shoved in a rotten banana.

" You nevah know when to quit do you?" The sniper hissed

" Cry me a river." He spat back

" You're cute when you're angry." They stood nose to nose like this, each unwilling to give way to the other.

Cute when he's angry?! If that bastard thought he could just mock the spy this way, like he was king of the world both he and his well defined jaw had another thing coming. He was just trying to get him riled, offend him by throwing something completely out of his character at him! The remark couldn't possibly be sincere.

"Va te faire foutre!" The spy sputtered. Sniper chuckled to himself in reply

Lousy, uncouth, cowardly, kangaroo fucking australians. He was possibly the only person alive who could dig himself under the spy's skin and fester like an ingrown hair.

" Spy, ya' better breath easier, oi can hear you snorting like a bull."

" Your mother was breathing harder when I was through with her."

" You fucking-" But before either knew what was happening, they were kissing. No clue who leaned first, whose body sent the signals but they were kissing. It was angry, hard and passionate, like when air particles are torn by lightning and the collide to cause thunder. Sniper's tongue forced its way into the spy's mouth, dancing like fire.

The sniper broke first, shoving the spy off him.

" I needed to do that once." He breathed, whipping saliva off his mouth before striding away quickly. " You're still a twat." He called over his shoulder.

What, he kissed him like that and then strides off like nothing happened? Insufferable barbarian!

" I hate you!" The spy yelled after. The garbage had completely ruined his shoes as well.


	16. Chapter 7

7. The magic of David Bowie

Mealtime promised to be an interesting affair. Normally the mercenaries would eat whenever, just grab what was lying around in the crates when they were hungry, but this evening the male medic proposed a proper sit down dinner to welcome their interdimensional guests. Regardless of the fact that half the women either were not fond of or hated their counterparts, and that most of the men felt the same, he insisted this was the way things needed to be done.

" He's probably drugged all se food for his experiments." Misha mumbled.

" Ya think?" Scout quipped back.

But arrangements were made, furniture moved, and soon the cafeteria tables were positioned in two long rows with sheets thrown over as hasty table cloths. Various people procured food dishes, medic whipped up a delicious looking punch _nobody_ intended to drink, and scout even found the radio he used to listen to red sox games. Once they had convinced the soldiers to un-barricade the door ( "Yes, we are quite sure the Japanese have retreated. Uhuh, yeah, woohoo america and all but please just rip the nails out of those boards now.") it seemed they were all set for something of a shindig. Everyone filed in once twilight settled, and began attacking the food.

At first, scout thought it was going well. Well meaning nobody had killed each other. The heavies eyed each other from a safe distance while they ate before disappearing altogether, the spies gravitated toward opposite sides of the room, and the snipers would not even glance in the other's direction. Speaking of spy, he and the male sniper were dancing around each other like someone had a bomb stuffed down his pants. If they did make eye contact, they only snarled and went back to wolfing down whatever dish was in front of them.

But the scout had more pressing concerns. Miss Pauling was among the people in attendance. She hadn't changed her clothes since yesterday night, her hair was a bit frizzier than normal, plus over the course of the meal she got some of the potato salad Engie made on her shirt; and yet she was perhaps the most gorgeous woman scout had ever seen. She was a real lady, she read, she put up with him even when she knew him longer than the girls at gas stations or fried chicken shops he would pick up, she was perfect…

And Chloe "Tez" or whatever was practically glued to her hip. He'd seen Miss Pauling snap at her last night and that put his mind somewhat at ease but he never underestimated persistence. Persistence is what got him through being the youngest of eight boys, and he was banking on persistence to win Miss Pauling. He had to do something and do it fast to get Chloe away from her.

The radio! He switched it on, and twiddled till he got a station coming in. An a acoustic guitar blared out, and a mellow male voice followed.

"_Ground Control to Major Tom,_

_...Ground Control to Major Tom"_

Perfect, that David Bowie song about the astronaut or whatever! Honestly scout had never paid much attention to the lyrics, he just knew it was slow and exactly what he was looking for. He waltz over to Miss Pauling, hoping to seem as confident as his normal excellent self, but his knees were going watery and he felt his hands start to shake.

"M-* EHEM*, Sorry, may I have this dance?" He choked out, offering his hand to Miss Pauling. A questioning, but curious look split her face and she seized it. ' Remember prom, remember prom,' scout thought to himself furiously. Where did he put his hands when dancing with a girl? Shit, how should he know?! He and his date skipped prom to go fuck behind the bleachers! Oh, shit, oh shit-

" Like this," Miss Pauling giggled, moving his hands to her waist.

" Oh, yeah. I knew that." He said, which they both knew he didn't. The rocked back and forth in time to the music.

" _Tell my wife I love her very much," _ Bowie crooned.

" _Ground Control to Major Tom,_

_Your circuit's dead there's something wrong._

_Can you hear me Major Tom?_

_Can you hear me Major Tom?"_

" This song's pretty depressing." Miss Pauling interrupted.

" Huh?" Oh, brilliant fucknuts. Scout cursed himself.

" An astronaut drifts out into space, ground control can't reach him, he's lost and alone. Pretty depressing stuff."

" Is what we do anything less? I haven't been back ta' boston in a while, haven't seen mom or my brothers in the last six months, barely know the guys I die for every day. And I die every day. I'm talkin' a lotta death, not fun. And you only get that one day off every year, plus you have to kill a lotta' people and are basically a slave to a boss non of us-" he gestured at the mercenaries, " Ever even see. We any less lonely than this Major Tom guy?"

Miss Pauling was quiet for a long time. 'I screwed up, my hands are sweaty, I'm stepping on her feet and I screwed up,' He thought. When she did reply, all she said was,

" That was really insightful scout." He just shrugged in reply. The song ended, and she let go of him to go back over to where she'd left her food. His moment had passed

But for that one moment, just one moment, they'd been connected. Connected as more than just two lonely people in a cafeteria.

….

" A tenner says 'e grabs 'er boob." Tavish said, turning to Aoife who sat beside him. The two of them had spent the day getting acquainted with various members of both teams, and also cleaning the vomit from Tavish's shoes. At the male medic's word they'd gone to the cafeteria for some sort of dinner thing; now the scout had walked up to Miss Pauling and the two of them were performing the most awkward slow dance in history to a David Bowie song.

" No bet. Don' know 'im well enough. What oi do knoe is this potato salad could sprout legs an' arms and do a jig an' oi wouldn't think anymar of it it's so good."

" Wha'? Really? Lemme 'ave a bit!" Tavish tried to snag some off Aoife's plate, but she snickered and snatched it away. " Oy, that's noe faer!" He played, seizing Aoife by the waist and lifting her up so she burst with giggles, wrestling to keep the plate from his reach.

" Tavish, put mei down!" She shrieked between chortles.

" Getta room!" The female spy called disgustedly from the other side of the caf. Aoife finally squirmed her way free, plunking the potato salad down and whirling to face Tavish. He was in the process of flipping off the female spy, but he turned and grinned at her.

" Aye hope aye didn' knock yer leg lose."

" Takes mar than a scottish boozer stealin' mai food ta' rattle 'er." Aoife said, knocking on the surface of the carbon fiber/ plastic mix surface. " Oi told yue oi loosened the strahps las' noight, only reason she fell off."

" Tha's gud." He said, before swiftly planting a kiss on the tip of her nose. For a moment, there was only the sound of the radio.

" _Though I'm past one hundred thousand miles,_

_I'm feeling very still,_

_And I think my spaceship knows which way to go." _ Aoife reach up, her hand brushing where his lips brushed her face.

" Tha' was stupid of me." Tavish fretted.

" Noe, noe s'not." She reassured him, taking his hand.

" Wanna slip out fer a bottle or tue?"

" Read mai mind, ya did."

" Mah ' spaceship'" he jested, referencing the song " 's saying the way to go is mah whiskey stash."

And so as the fictional ground control tried desperately to reach their Major Tom, Aoife and Tavish snuck quickly out of the cafeteria.

…

Fraternizing with the enemy, plain and simple. Granted, everyone was the enemy in Giulia's mind. Aoife wants to go and fuck the version of herself from this universe fine, but she may as well not make such a squealing pig of herself in the process. God, was that horrendous shrieking even a laugh?

" Getta room!" She yelled, making her distaste apparent as she watched the nauseating display of the demolitions wrestling over a plate of potatoes. Leave it to an Irishwoman to ruin everyone else's evening.

Speaking of dreadful nationalities, she saw the french embarrassment of a spy lurking in a corner downwind from the happy couple. If Giulia hated anything more than the Irish it was the French, and if she was having a terrible time and there was a frenchman in the room she could get quite creative with her resentment. When she decides to meddle with him, in a frenchman's words, _C'est la vie._

" Proviamo a salvare questa sera." She muttered to herself. Something might salvage her wreck of an evening. As she made her way over, she noticed the male spy glaring at her. How cute, he thought he could be threatening.

"Buonasera!" She called, mockingly.

" What do you want?" He barked.

" Oh, nowa donta be like that! I amma here at your medics invitation, no? Maybe we cana-"

" I do not have se time to be dealing wiz a lunatic such as yourself." Giulia stuck out her lip.

" Oh, looka at the little Frenchman witha his insults. Isa lunatic supposed to hurt me?" She moseyed forward, coyly draping her arm across his shoulder. He shrugged it off, what a spoilsport. " Dida your little boyfriend not return your affections?" He jumped, glaring at her more. Oh yes, Giulia had seen his eyes flicking back to the australian over and over again. Did he think that would slip by her? Stupid of him.

" He is not my boyfriend, and you have no business in what transpires between us."

" Telling an italiana to backa out of matters of the heart? May as well tella _your _countrymen to stop sniffing their disgusting cheeses. Everyone thinks of the french asa the love experts, but we italians knowa more than our fair share." She grinned, oh how the frenchman squirmed when she brought up his love life! This was delightful.

" Originally I mistook you for a threat." He began. " Now I realize my mistake and must apologize, as now I see you are nosing more zan a gossiping school girl. Bonsoir." He snapped, and strode off.

"_Here am I floating round my tin can_

_Far above the Moon_

_Planet Earth is blue_

_And there's nothing I can do..." _Giulia didn't bother to ponder out what the song meant.

Well, the game with the frenchman was done and it had been wonderful to make someone uncomfortable but she had other sports in mind for the night. Sports with much better stakes...

" This song isa depressing." She muttered while she eased the grate of an air vent just outside the cafeteria, and slipped in.

…

Finally, he got his grubby mitts off her. Chloe had been watching the scout _attempt _to slow dance to a song with Miss Pauling, cringing every time he stepped on her feet. Seriously, first he'd been rude by asking Miss P. to dance when she was CLEARLY busy talking to Chloe ( Who'd graciously apologized for her behavior and offered to try a fresh start), then he had the audacity to bump into her feet the whole time. Probably sweating too, the creep.

But the long instrumental solo at the end cut off, and the song transitioned into a radio add for Mann Co. That was a constant in this universe at least. Good ol' Mann Co, with crappy equipment that you could count on to break as soon as someone was aiming straight for ya. Sure, Redwina and Blutrice Mann were apparently Redmund and Blutarch here, but who cared? At least Mann Co would be the same no matter what universe you were in.

Oh, here comes Pauling, be cool.

" So at long last boston boy let ya' go?"

" Actually, he was really nice. I don't see what you two have against each other so much, you might have a lot to talk about." Chloe saw the male scout miming several obscene things at her over Miss Pauling's head.

" Yeah, I'm sure we'd be best buddies. Look, Miss P."

" Miss Pauling-"

" Miss Pauling I was just thinking that maybe you and I could have dinner."

" We are." Miss Pauling smirked and held up her plate full of potato salad.

" Well, uh yeah sure, but you know, I mean," Oh brilliant fucknuts. This happened every time she tried to bring up dates. It wasn't just ' Hey you're hot, I'm hot, let's do it.', you actually had to hold a conversation here! Plus, she got the feeling Miss Pauling thought she could count Chloe's brain cells on one hand.

After a few more moments of awkward stuttering, she simply lapsed into silence and attacked the potato salad. Sweet Jesus, it was delicious but she still did her best to scowl.

" Look, it's after seven. I need to go see what I can do about washing my shirt, and I'm expecting a report from the TF Industries branch in Argentina. You're not half bad when you're not grabbing my ass." Miss Pauling dumped her plate in the garbage bin next to the door, and sauntered away.

Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck! GAH! Now that smug little bostoner would be able to giggle at her inability to woo the ever attractive Miss P. Chloe saw the scout striding over to her, a smug grin pinned to his idiotic face. At least his nose was still busted, she took pride in that.

" No luck?" He tittered.

" Fuck off, Boston."

" Hey, I told you I've been at this a long time. Miss Pauling won't jus' swoon into your lap like whatever hussies you got in New York-" He was cut off by Chloe's fist ramming itself into his jaw. He dropped to the floor like a sac of bricks.

" You're prettier when yer mouth's closed." She hissed. She was well aware the radio had ceased playing, and felt the stares of everyone else in the caf bearing down on her.

" You know, for a version of me you sure are a bitch!" He replied, wiping blood off his chin.

" Are you so fucking dumb you can't see none of us are you? Same class that's it numbnuts!"

" Even so, you've been on my nerves since the first moment! I still ain't forgiving you for my my fingers!" Scout had hauled himself to his feet and waved his hand in front of Chloe's face. She smacked it down.

" You just pissed cause your precious Pauling prefers my charisma over your…" She paused. " What _do_ you have that's good?" She watched scout's jaw clench.

" Outside. Yard where Miss Pauling's van is. In ten minutes we settle this." He declared, voice so low she could barely hear it. Hocking up a bit one, Chloe spat it on the ground.

" You don't have the balls."

" You don't have any."

" S'that supposed to be an insult? See you there Boston."

Chloe spun on her heel, and rammed through the nearest doors so they clattered shut behind her. Scout turned to face the mix of concerned and blatantly flabbergasted faces of the others in the room.

" What?" He snapped. Soon this would be over, he'd kick the crap out of a girl and not feel bad about it, and that was that. He just hoped it wouldn't be too easy.


	17. Chapter 8

8. Fist fight

The yard where the van was parked was the only part of the base that led to an outside road, and honestly it was somewhat depressing. Gravel was strewn around the top of the yellowed dirt, while sagging sheds and tufts of dead grass rimmed the perimeter. The main base loomed overhead, windows like eyes glaring down on any who stepped onto the threshold and there was a perpetual smell of gasoline.

The scout swatted a mosquito off his arm as he stepped outside. Fading sunlight casted an aureolin glow on the van squatting off to the side, and the slim figure of Chloe waiting for him in the center of the graveled area.

" Winner gets Pauling?" He said as he sauntered over.

" Winner gets to never speak to you again." She growled.

" Well, I don' make too much of a habit of talking to myself; not really much of a prize."

" Screw yourself. Fists or bats?"

" Fists, unless you need a bat like you did last time." The tension was so thick you could have cut it with a knife. There were muffled footsteps coming from behind them.

" Oh look, a crowd gathered to see you have your ass handed to you." Chloe goaded, Scout turned to see, but that was when Chloe threw her first swing. Scout sidestepped, feeling her fist sail past his ear. He heard a few ooh's from the assembly.

" Clever, not bad for a New Yorker." He threw a left hook, but she dodged.

" Terrible, even for a Boston boy."

After that the banter ceased, they were in too deep to trade words. Sideswipe, dodge, jab, jab, hook, dodge…. blow after blow rained on the scout. Chloe's style was aggressive, quick( hell she wouldn't be a scout if it wasn't), but her stance was solid and she could dodge like she'd trained for years. They matched almost perfectly in pacing, and their shuffling footwork kept them moving circles around each other.

Minuted trickled by with no one making any serious blows. The crowd would hiss or boo when he almost got one in, other members would cheer but he couldn't make out any distinct voices. Maybe this is what being on of those roman gladiators had felt like; fighting while people just sat by for bloodshed.

He managed to deflect most of her hits to his upper arms and shoulders, she dodged his his hits all together and they would keep swinging. It seemed indefinite. Jab, hook, uppercut, deflect, deflect, dodge…

Sweat was trickling down his back, oppressive heat settled on the scene like a bird in a nest. It forced it's way up his lungs, his breathing was starting to get labored. God knows how long it'd been, his arms were starting to wear out and neither of them had done any serious damage!

It was the sweat that was his downfall. It trickled into his eyes, stinging them and reducing his entire field of vision to a blur. He couldn't see anything, and that's when Chloe wreaked her havoc.

_BAM! _A bust of pain as she collided with his already broken nose. Reeling, he tried to fend her off but she'd made her hole and broken his defense to ruins. On- two, one-two she just kept coming, plowing through him till he collapsed on the ground. Blood was flooding his mouth, he smelled it on the air and on the dirt but Chloe was like a hailstorm of fists and fury. He heard cheers for Chloe, with mixed in shouts of dismay like,

" Get up man!"

" You got it in you soldier!"But he couldn't get up, Chloe pinned him down with her legs, slamming away at his face till he was gargling his own blood.

Scout had lost all will to continue. Fractured stars were breaking into his vision, pain bursting in new lights all the time. The blows wouldn't cease, he couldn't even raise his arms to defend himself as Chloe twined her hands in his shirt before heaving up his torso and slamming it into the ground repeatedly. Dull thuds rang out each time it hit.

_Thud!'_ Look at you, you're pathetic.'

_Thud!_ 'Can't even fight off a girl.'

_Thud!_ 'God, you think you're the best? Would the best be lying like a piece of meat s'been chewed up by a dog?'

_Thud!_ ' An embarrassment to the family.'

Gravel was biting into his skin, each abrasion making him think he heard his brothers, berating him for his pitiful defense. Whenever he got into a tight spot he'd imagine them laughing at him and it would spur it one but here… he just couldn't. Fighting not to swallow blood, he only hoped Miss Pauling wasn't watching him.

" _**ENOUGH!**_" A voice roared, and he felt Chloe literally lifted off of him. He rolled onto his side, feeling like a chipmunk after trying to cross the freeway. He spat out mouthful of blood, the coppery scent washing up his nose along with the musty smell of gravel.

" Ve have more pressing issues." He recognized Misha's voice, and heard a thunk as the heavy deposited something next to him. He wormed closer, and to his utter horror recognized it as a body.

The female heavy was laying next to him, and she was most definitely dead.


	18. Chapter 9

9. Life and Death

" You killed her!" The female medic exclaimed, bursting out from the gathered.

" No."

" You had plenty of time, you two disappeared from the dinner early! You- you"

" I did not kill anyone!" Misha roared. Saanvi halted in a stunned silence. " If I had killed her," Misha continued in an deadly slow manner " I whould not haf brought her out for you to see. I found her dead in a closet on my way out here."

" But… how?" Interjected Lucy.

" She seems to haf been strangled."

Strangled. Not a tell-tale card for any of the mercenaries; then again that was probably the point.

" Why-"

"Who-"

" What-"

Everybody had questions, most not easily answered. Bickering and debating ensued, the kind of bickering where it takes quite a while to get one simple point across. Misha insisted he never killed her, yes he did have motive because of the gulags but he wasn't hurt by Mariya personally. She wasn't from the same universe, it was not she that harmed his family. Yes, he had disappeared from the dinner early but mostly because even though she didn't hurt him personally it was still awkward for him and Mariya. He hadn't known she left too.

Questions were tossed about, repeated, exclamations made and blame thrown everywhere from the Pyros to Mariya herself.

" Oh, yes brilliant. She strangled herself." The male spy had quipped to that suggestion.

" Well where the hell are the Demos? They could have conspired to this!"

" Probably fucking in the basement by now." He sun had long set when finally silence fell, and Dell asked what everyone had been wondering.

" What are we going to do with the body?" A long pause.

" Leave that to us."Saanvi commanded. " Mariya was part of our team, we'll be the ones burying her. Out here alright?" Nods of assent from various members.

" Tomorrow ve vill start a real infestigation." The male medic promised.

The males filed away from the inky blackness that was enveloping the courtyard. Scout was supported by Dell, glowering and covered in his own blood. They shuffled inside last.

And so by the light of the their pyro's flamethrower, the female team set about burying Mariya.

It was an awful prospect no matter which way Chloe looked at it. They died multiple times a day but there was always a respawn. Now Mariya was just lying there, eyes bulging from her head and her face contorted into a mix of shock and fear and anger. It was a terrible expression, accusing whoever glanced at it. The surface of her eyes was glossy like the marbles Chloe would give to her little sisters.

She tried not to stare at the body too long, else she could feel her chest constricting in abhorrence. Throwing herself into work, she grabbed a shovel somebody had procured to dig out the grave. Dirt flew into the air, a hole beginning to grow and the widen as shadows danced. She could smell herself reeking of sweat.

Death, as a finality. Dead, dead forever, gone! Was there anything after or was there just a gaping void of nothing yawning out into infinity? Was Mariya burning in the agony of eternal punishment, playing harp on a cloud or did she just stop? Did every living part of her just cease to be?

' Shhhh, don't think about it.' A little voice in the back of Chloe's head urged. ' Think about something else'.

Like the Scout? For those few minutes destroying him had been the focus of Chloe's entire world. Beating him, for the sake of beating him and defeating him in a way that he wouldn't bother her again. For those moments she'd been willing to kill him, she'd thought about it as she slammed his head into the ground, but staring at Mariya now… She was glad she didn't. She'd never killed anyone in a way where they wouldn't come back, didn't plan on finding out what it was like.

It had still felt good to make him bleed. She wasn't going to deny chipping a few teeth out of that smug smile had brought pleasure. Feeling her fists crunch into his face the minute he let his guard down was about as satisfying as it could get.

She didn't realize how furiously she'd been flinging dirt out of the grave till someone tapped her on the shoulder. She spun around, breathing heavily.

" I think we're deep enough Chloe." The texan said quietly. Turning her head up, she noticed she and the others were a little over five feet down. Saanvi gave them all a hand up over the edge.

" Should we cover the body in anything?" Soldier barked. " Seems un american." Saanvi shook her head.

" If someone died at my base I'd dig them up for their organs. I want Mariya to decompose as quickly as possible so that their medic can't use her."

Thus her body was rolled into the gaping maw of her grave undecorated and people immediately began throwing dirt down. No one had known her well enough to say anything over her body.

' Would they know me any better?' The little voice nagged in Chloe's head. What did she really know about any of these people? Lucy had a few PhDs, Saanvi was from Pennsylvania, maybe a few other snippets about people but considering the circumstances she was lucky she even knew their names. They probably knew just as little about her. If she died tomorrow, for real with no respawn, would they bother to acknowledge anything about her existence? Or would she be rolled into a hastily dug dirt hole like Mariya and left without a word?

Well past midnight they marked the grave with an upside down shovel plunged into the ground and ambled back into the base. The silence was perhaps the loudest thing Chloe had ever heard.

…

" Ya' wan' more?" Tavish asked, gesturing the bottle at Aoife. Once they'd retreated to his stash, there'd been little going on but drinking. Just now, mellowed by the scotch he'd fished out of a crate they'd started delving into conversation.

" Oi bettar not. Don' wanta pull a Dad and pass out agen."

" Yer da' drink a lot?" Aoife nodded.

" Me mam doid bringin' me last brother inta the world. Took a toll on 'im. Oh, screw it if we're talkin' bout family now I'm goin' ta need more alcohol." Tavish nodded, and refilled the glass she clutched between her fingers. Aoife took a long draught, feeling the familiar burn run down her throat.

" Ma' family's pretty screwed up too. Ay'll save tha' story fer another taim, but lemme jus' say tha' it's a long one."

" Involving mar nonesense words like bombinomi- bombicronic- bomi, fuck." She stumbled over the syllables as she tried to repeat the phrase he'd thrown out earlier. He was laughing, so she punched his shoulder.

" S'not funny!"

" It's funnay as hell!"

And then he kissed her. It was warm, the feeling of his lips against hers, even though his stubble tickled her chin and he tasted like scotch. It was more reassuring than the nose kiss; both intimate and vulnerable. But guilt clenched her stomach like a vice and she broke off.

" Tavish," She saw hurt scour his face. He thought he'd gone to far, breached a boundary and there was no turning back. His features seemed to settle like cliff faces into a mountain side.

" Ay thought- nevermaind." He turned dourly, pouring more scotch and downing it in a gulp. He was closing off to her, she could feel it. Oh, god this always happened.

" No, i's no' like that, Tavish oi need ta' tell ya,"

" Ay guess ay misread ya. Ay thought yue liked mei."

" Oi do, listen, Oi-"

" Ay always due this. Ay can' read people worth a damn an' I due sommen stuepid and Ay-" He was getting angry now, his speech speeding up as he cursed himself.

" TAVISH SHUT UP A MINUTE!" Aoife screeched. " Oi'm asexual, alright?" That did it. Point of no return. If the leg or her thing for explosions didn't drive people away the minute she pulled this out of the bag they closed off. No one ever understood. She could have not told him, kept him around a little longer than otherwise but she always felt like she was tricking people by not telling them. She'd led Tavish on for long enough, only let it get this far because of how much she was drawn to him, time to let him know before he got in too deep.

She expected the normal looks, shame, pity, sometimes anger or misunderstanding, but all Tavish seemed was… confused.

" I don' understand." He put it plainly.

" Oi'm… Asexual. I don' like sex, it's awkward at best, oi don' get drawn to people for sex, oi have no droive fer sex, an'- an'- well frankly oi don' intend to do it anytoim ever." That put it simply. It was more complicated than that, but they were both borderline drunk and she needed to say it quickly or else she wouldn't be able to finish.

Again she waited for the faces. Where was the scorn? Not like sex, what kind of woman didn't like sex? Surely she was just playing hard to get, or really wasn't that into him. All these were examples of questions posed from her ex-boyfriends all the way down to the few friends she made during her school years. Those people hadn't hung around long.

But Tavish just.. poured himself another glass.

" Alright." Alright? What did he mean alright?!

" Wha'?"

" Alright. Yue're goin' ta have ta' explaine it to me better, and over a period o' taime, but if tha's yue, an' somethin' Ay'm goin' ta' have to understand to be aroun' yue, then Ay'm willin' ta' figure it out."

" Yer no' upset?"

" Well, do yue still feel somethan' for me? Ay like yue, more than just another as proffesional, Ay think we have a connection. Damn it, Ay've only known ya' fer a day an' Ay maight say Ay love ya'. Ay'll be more upset if Ay've been barking up tha' wrong tree than if lovin' ya means Ay don' get ta' fuck ya."

He wasn't upset. He wasn't leaving. There were no questions, no angry declarations of her deception, no sarcastic quips! He was okay with it, no one had been okay with it before. _He wasn't upset!_

" Whoah, woah Ay din' mean to make ya' cry." Tavish said. Aoife's thoat had choked up, and she her eyes were starting to leak. Stupid, goddamn- When was the last time she cried?

" Oi'm jus' relieved." She stammered out, wiping her face annoyedly. " It- it normally drives people away."

" If men were into yue fer sex, they don' deserve any part of yue. Ay've known yue fer one day, an' in that day Ay've seen tha' yue can dreink like a scot, curse like a sailor, pick tha' best food, laugh like a hyena, an' outshaen everyone in a room. When yue tol' me 'bout that bomb ya' made in fourth grade out of the steel wool an' batteries yue proved yer an absolute genius, an yue know more racial slurs than an entire middle school. Ay've only spent one day with yue an' Ay've seen this. If someone can see all tha' an' only think of sex they are not worth your taime."

Her stomach was clenching now, but not out of the guilt that regularly came with being who she was, but with relief. A weight that had been pressing down on Aoife since she came to terms with who she was seemed to have lifted. Her heart was fluttering, hands starting to tremble. She'd never thought she would find someone who'd be okay with it, who'd say they were in love after one day and then stay around when she told them. She might be in love herself, but was that just the booze?

" Are hugs still alright?" Tavish venture with a coy grin. Unable to answer, Aoife nodded and he wrapped his arms around her like a safety net. She nestled her head into his shoulder. His breathing was steady, rhythmic, like the oars of an ancient ship setting out to sea and it lured her into a feeling of safety as she enveloped herself in the smell of various brands of liquor. Every detail, every smell, sight, taste and sound was perfect.

She had no idea how long they slept, but when she woke up she was still entangled in his arms. There was a loud banging coming from outside the door.

"Oy!" She heard the male Sniper yelling. " Two of ya' better put your pants back on and mosey up to breakfast! Scouts beat the crap out of each other last noight and someone killed a heavy!" The banging ceased, and the two of them bolted up.

" Pants never came off you piss-throwin' slime!" Tavish yelled, withdrawing his arms from Aoife. She bolted up.

Killed a heavy? What the hell was going on?

…...

Medic's log,

Dr. Saanvi Ghosh

Day two after explosion, early morning.

My log of last night contained the known details of the death of Mariya. It was mostly blank.I would like to state that with this death vanishes any doubt I had that the mishaps we have experienced are anything but blatant sabotage. I don't know who would be doing this, nor what their motive as all known persons either lack a motive or possess a concrete alibi.

Well, except Giulia. Admittedly she has been MIA since the the incident, but that's not new for her. Back at base whenever we were off duty she would disappear for days at a time, crawling through vents or exploring the sewers that run underground. I have no clue what her reasons would be to keep us here, she above all others seems to detests this place.

Both myself and Lucy were unable to sleep last night, thus we put our minds to good use and furthered work on the teleporter. We fully replaced the outer casing, along with most of the wires and power converters, and also tackled most of the issues with the energy grappler.

Other parts that still need work:

Energy Grappler

Various circuitry and safety hoses loosened.

Repairs expected to finish late tonight, or early tomorrow. Once teleporter is in full working order we may begin experimenting on it's interdimensional properties. I plan on sleeping as little as possible, I can still see Mariya's eyes when I close mine and I do not want to be alone with thoughts of death. Also, it's been decided that we're going to rotate taking guard shifts on the teleporter with the men. Our screwdrivers went missing during all the hubbub and we has to waste time procuring more.

Here's a-piss-your-pants scary thought, any one of us could be next.


	19. Chapter 10

10. Mhhmmmhmmh

The male team's pyro was confused. He'd been traipsing through the lollipop woods with his bubbly cherub friends yesterday when one of them.. dropped out of the air. It happened all the time, he and his friends would play with the bubbly cherubs dressed in blue and cherubs would drop out of the sky before bouncing back up. It was hilarious, Pyro would even smack down the blue ones as part of the joke! Then they would laugh together and make snow angels in the powdered sugar plains. But this time, a cherub with mustard colored hair ran into a candy cane and fell down… without flying back up.

This was awful! He saw some of his other cherub friends take her and throw her in a cotton candy hill so she could get better, but he still couldn't get it off his mind. That lovely pyro who helped him before would know!

Pyro wandered through his land, gossipping with the friendly things that met him there.

" Mhhmmm hm!" He said to Mr. Gumdrop, the rainbow beaver. Mr. Gumdrop made several chittering noises in return that made him sound an awful lot like a padlock and chain sliding off a door, but Mr. Gumdrop had a funny way with words.

" Mhhmhmhm mhmhmh mh!" Pyro explained about his friend, Mr. Gumdrop looked concerned, and opened his mouth to make an a creaking, groaning noise. How wise Mr. Gumdrop! Pyro would take this advice to heart, and never forget it.

He turned to go see the licorice birds who had started making their usual clanking screeches, hut as he turned he saw the new pyro.

" Mhhmmhmhmhmhm!" Well, there's nothing to explain about that is there? Pyro is always so articulate I wonder why I bother with this narration.

" Mhhmhmhmhm!" The other Pyro replied.

" Mhmhmh mhhhhhh mhmm?"

"Mhm."

Well, that explained the mystery of the non-bouncing up cherub straight away! He was so glad the other pyro could explain this delightful information to him and Mr. Gumdrop Together the pyros skipped away, ignoring a rather agitated cherub that showed up around their shoulders, and happily conveyed more of the universe's secrets in an entirely comprehensible and straightforward way.

…

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY ROOM?!" The male spy roared. He'd walked in on the little maniacs, who'd somehow managed to disengage the padlock he'd installed on his door. The pyros had scattered dirt all over his belongings, torn things out of chests, and other wise ransacked the place.

" GET OUT YOU MISERABLE CRETENS!" He shouted. He couldn't tell their expressions, but their red gas mask eyes glinted with obvious malice as they slunk out of his room. Great, he'd have to wash all of these suits _again _just to get them moderately presentable, the he'd need to do another run through and- god why did it all have to be so hard?

" I bet ze australian zem in." He cursed. The bastard kissed him, avoided him, and then let demented pyromaniacs virtually destroy his belongings? Stupid little jarate throwing aussie. He was probably laughing his ass off at this, the smug fucker, some men just like causing harm, some men aren't worth anyone's time, some men…

His internal rant continued like this for several minutes while he tried to salvage what he could of his suits. Disgusting, filthy little beasts!

" I hate you!" He yelled, not actually clear on what he was hating for once.


	20. Chapter 11

11. The eleventh chapter

You leave them alone for ten minutes and they're tearing each other apart! At least, that's how things appeared to Miss Pauling. She'd left dinner, had a calm relaxing evening doing what work she could from one of the computers, got a good nights sleep, and when she woke up she found the scout had the crap beaten out of him, Chloe had been the one beating the crap out of him, _and the female heavy had been strangled_. Seriously? No one bothered to let her know any of this when it was going on?!

" Did someone take care of the body?" She sighed as she was scarfing down the leftover potato salad for breakfast. People were wandering in the cafeteria, aimlessly munching. Grim nods from the female members in attendance confirmed it had been dealt with. Oh, this… yeah. 'I need to be more sensitive about this' she chastised herself. This had been their heavy; if she had to bury the heavy she knew, it wouldn't leave her ready to talk about it. The fact that the death of strangers was nothing new to her desensitized Miss Pauling to the effects it could have on those who were still alive.

" I'm sorry for your loss." Was awkwardly tagged on at the end. Decent enough for now, 'I can make cookies or something later.' Food was how normal people dealt with death, right?

She tossed her dishes into the kitchen sink, and scooched out. The cafeteria atmosphere was grim enough to kill somebody in and of itself.

Wandering through the halls, she bumped into Chloe leaned against a stairwell.

" Oh, sorry Chloe didn't notice you."

" It's cool." Chloe flexed her shoulder, wincing. " Pulled something last night is all."

"While you were pummeling the scout's face in?"

" Probably." Chloe chuckled to herself. Obviously, she'd enjoyed it. ' And I surround myself with these people?'

" You probably shouldn't have done that."

" No shit." Chloe spat, the globule landing just near Miss Pauling's shoes. Classy.

" What was that all about anyway?" That made her pause. She saw Chloe's face contort as she tried to formulate a reply.

" Settling a score." Was all that came out. 'Okay, just be as vague and nonspecific as possible. Totally not irksome.'

" Score?" Miss Pauling tried not to sound too annoyed.

" Yeah. But it doesn't matter now. He was here first, an'I was more into bothering him than actually… uh, whatever. Anyway, now that I've kicked the crap out of him I really don' care anymore."

" So...okay then…" That made no sense. Apparently everyone loved to play the " let's keep Miss Pauling in the dark" game.

"Yeah. See ya' round Miss P."

" Miss Pauling."

" Whatever. I'm still going to say I love your ass." Chloe winked, and strode off.

" That's totally unrelated to the current topic!" She called after her, both flattered and vexed.

" It's closer than you think!" Smirked Chloe.

What the hell? It seems no matter what universe they're from scouts are totally and completely nuts.

" I need to go check on the teleporter." She murmured angrily. Things are definitely bad when you want to see medic for some sanity.

…

'God, he was here first? Man, you really know how to explain things.' Chloe was mentally kicking herself as she strode away from Miss Pauling.

She had gotten satisfaction from beating the crap out of the scout, that was true, and he had been here first as well, but no way in hell did that mean she wasn't interested. Chloe just knew when the odds were against her ( unlike that douche striding up to the fight like his cock meant he could win), and that Miss Pauling seemed to have her standards. Her week in this universe, a little less than that now, would not be enough time to win Pauling and she didn't want to sink too much time into somebody who she was going to have to pull away from. Just wasn't worth it.

It had been fun to rile the scout with it however. Watching him get his little hackles raised because he had a threat in the vicinity was fun, tons of fun. Okay, okay, maybe she'd been a little hard on him but firstly he'd started it; no one could tell her otherwise. Also, Pauling had been cute and he immediately decided she wouldn't go for Chloe because she was in his class. That had rubbed her the wrong way.

Damn, Pauling could do better than that guy. Sweet ass, nice brain, the bit right where her shoulders curve into her neck… Chloe would not say giving that up didn't sting.

Her steps echoed through the empty hall as she stalked her way back to the empty bunk she'd claimed. There wasn't much in it, bed with scratchy blankets, cement walls painted a dingy brown-grey, wooden chest to chuck your stuff in, but it was the closest in size and shape to her bunk back home.

She drew closer to the door, and saw the texan's slim form leaning against the wall.

" Well, there's my favorite she-hulk."

" Shut up." She-hulk wasn't an insult, it was more of a joke between them. The texan did have a tendency to "hulk out" with her short fuse, but it was only a playful torment to point it out to her." I'm just checking up on you." The texan sighed.

" Why?"

" You seemed pretty stressed last night."

" And you care why, exactly?"

The texan shrugged. She wasn't as evenly proportioned as Miss Pauling. Her legs were much longer than normal compared to the rest of her, her arms almost gawkily so, but she had petite breasts that always reminded Chloe of plums. Perfectly round, and nestled on there like plums in a pack. That, plus her stunningly blue eyes and honey blonde hair did not make the texan anything close to an eyesore.

" Well, whatever. Thanks."

" That chick in purple shut you down?" The texan asked. Oh… oooooh. That explains a lot. Hmm, maybe a texan with plum boobs was just what Chloe needed right now.

" Why're you asking?"

" Because maybe you need rebound sex. And maybe I need someone who's stressed out and needs rebound sex right about now." Oh, thank god for people who don't like to beat around the bush. They could have been here all day awkwardly trading innuendos if the texan was shy about it like a normal person.

" Horny or do you like me?"

" Mostly horny. But, hey you've got a great personality too."

" Smart aleck. Anything I should know about like STD's or weird growths?"

" Nope."

" You understand this is just me using you as a way to get over the disappointment of giving up a fine piece of ass?"

" Duh. Why else would I be here?"

" Okay." She creaked open the door to her bunk. " Step into my office," She chuckled.

" Oh lord you're not going to say anything like that during, are you? Because I may be making a worse mistake than a deer freezing in headlights." Chloe laughed, and pulled the texan inside.

" I won't say anything awkward if you do one thing."

" What's that?" Sidling the door shut, the tex an moved close enough where chloe could feel the heat radiating off her. There was more than a slight height difference, Chloe came to maybe he chin. Whatever, Chloe like fucking tall people.

" Lose the goddam hat." She laughed, flicking the cowboy hat so it slipped off the texan's head. It was always a stupid hat in her opinion.

And then their tongues were too engaged slipping between each other's mouths to do much talking.

…

" Somebody's gettin' laid." The male sniper grumbled, listening to effeminate pantings and moanings coming from upstairs. Cement walls, sure totally paid for. Nobody had the foresight to make sure he ceilings were equally thick.

An especially loud groan, and he felt the ceiling vibrate. The dingy light bulb hanging in the center of the room flickered. Geezus, what were they doing, using a bulldozer?

" Where the hell are my earplugs?" He muttered, frantically digging through his chest. Listening to this was not his idea of a good time.

" Ah, god I pulled a muscle there watch it. Whoah, what are you- ah, ah _ah._ Sweet holy mother of god can you work your tongue! Yes, _yeeeessss_, keep doing that-"

Ear. Plugs. Mother. Fucking. Where. Were. His. God. Damn. .

" I didn't know you were this bendy, can you really-"

_EAR PLUGS EAR PLUGS EAR PLUGS._

" Oh, _ohh!_ I never knew you could use those things like this, oh oh oh _Oh!"_

_**EARPLUGSGODDAMEARPLUGSMOTHERFUCKINGEARPLUGS.**_

In the end he ended up fleeing the room, hands shoved in his ears and aggressively humming God Save the Queen. Hopefully _SHE'S _never inconvenienced anyone like this. People these days just have no sense of decency.


	21. Chapter 12

12. Working hard

" Gott verdammt!" The male medic cried, flinging his hands in the air with frustration. Would nothing go well? " Lucy ze vire you gafe me vas ze vrong length for ze YX-20 slot, und now ve haf to revork ze whole circuit!" Another setback, usually things did not take this long! Lucy gave a disinterested shrug, and pandered off to fetch the right wire.

Lucy's conduct the entire day was worrying. Last night she'd been so gung ho about the project, giving suggestions and brilliantly speeding along the process. Now she was making the sort of mistakes someone would expect from a girl her age, a wire too long for this, a wrong screw in that. It had only cost them a few minutes here and there, but those minutes were slowly adding up into hours. She also seemed to have forgotten even the basics of quantum physics.

"Kinder" He muttered. He'd been trying to speak more english, even to himself but when he got frustrated he slipped back into his mother tongue. "kann ihnen nicht trauen".

" Excuse me, but if you could speak something I can understand that would be great." Ah, his snappy counterpart. A bit rough around the edges but she'd shared her theories of organ autoregeneration with him, and she was quite brilliant.

" Apologies fraulein, I'm frustrated."

" It's fine. I think Mariya's death's gotten to Lucy, she never would have made these sort of mistakes back home."

" Vell, she has to stop making zem here. Ve don't haf all zat much time to spare if ve vant to make our goal uf undah a veek. And vith people dying ve should delay as little as possible before sending your team home since you seem so determined I must not use zeir organs."

"Agreed." Miss Pauling strode in on the two of them.

" Fraulein Pauling." The male medic nodded. Miss Pauling was wonderful to have around, but he was a little puzzled as to what she was doing here. Inter dimensional travel wasn't exactly her area.

" Sorry to interrupt, I just thought I'd check on your progress so I could get a little sanity. "

" You're looking to us for sanity? Sorry lady, I don't think you know me very well, but I've been trying to make people grow extra fingers in my spare time." Saanvi, always counted upon for reality checks.

" I must agree vith my colleague, Fraulein."

" Yeah, I know it's bad but the scouts are driving me crazy. Just let me sit on a counter back here and troll the internet for high powered bloodstain removers." Saanvi's face was rather shocked, but she would learn that though Miss Pauling seemed something of a librarian her job was in fact quite… gruesome at times.

" Ja, go ahead. Just do not disturb us." Miss Pauling plopped onto an empty counter and pulled out her phone. The medic's turned their attention back to the teleporter.

Where the hell was Dell? He'd vanished to go find a soldering iron for the outer casing and hadn't returned. While the medic had enjoyed the relief of an unclouded mind his absence heralded, it still did not disrupt the fact that he'd been missing for over half an hour.

He did cloud up the medic's mind quite a bit. His pigeon blue eyes, that lopsided but well meaning grin, the purposefully uneloquent speech… it was all entrancing. The medic wrapped himself in riddles of biological phenomena and prided himself on his calculatedly mad air, yet here was a man with more mechanical brilliance than any other being alive and who seemed utterly normal. No sense of grandeur, or hunt for creating just to create. He, in his own words, "solved practical problems" and that was all. Utterly fascinating.

His shoulders didn't help either. The man was sculpted as if Michelangelo's David had a love child with a petite grizzly bear. The medic never tired of looking at him.

" Hey Fritz, quit daydreaming you nearly blew us all to smithereens and plugged the number 4 hose into the energy grappler." Saanvi snapped him back into reality

" Perhaps that vas my intention." He snarled. " Und my name es not Fritz."

" Yeah, yeah. Do the world a favor and ask the man on a date so you can focus."

" I don't undah stand how you can be so vell spoken in your logs and so churlish in ze real vurld." Ha, she blushed.

" Why the hell were you leafing through my logs?"

" Because I vas vundering vat you said about me. Vhy are you blushing, zere vas nothing compromising in nature."

" No.. I…" He saw her swallow. " My handwriting sucks."

" Oh, is zat all? My handwritting appears to be several spidahs a toddlah smashed onto a peice uf papah."

" Weird metaphor, but okay. And yes, I am more articulate in my logs because I have better time to formulate my words. My papers and lab reports are actually pretty well written if I do say so myself."

" I undahstand. Perhaps zere is more ve have in common zan just a love of broadvay."

" I still say Phantom of The Opera sucks." The male medic let out an indignant gasp. " I mean, it take a lot of talent to pull off the music but the story seems so full of itself and I'm not a huge fan of the characters."

" Perhaps I should blow us up." He cursed. What sort of depraved creature did not like The Phantom of the Opera?

" Well, it's not like you'd be the only one gunning for us."

A grim silence followed. There was that constant reminder than someone among them had committed murder, and was likely to do it again. If it was anything but permanent death the prospect would excite him, even fascinate him, but it _was_ permanent and that meant anyone could soon be gone forever.

" I had bettah go und find Dell. " He said quickly, standing up from the teleporter. Saanvi nodded.

His gut twinged at the thought that the murderer could have gotten to Dell. Or possibly… that Dell was the murderer

…

Not a single soldering iron in the entire base, unbelievable! Lucy had brought one up to the medibay with her the first day with all the other tools, but now she claimed no knowledge of its whereabouts and there was not another one to be found throughout the entire base. Dell had spent the last half hour scouring closets and various containers all over, with no luck.

Lucy was worrying him. His first conversation with her had proved her to be intelligent, determined if somewhat snappish, and above all else curious. Now she acted like she couldn't care less, and her knowledge of teleporter mechanics was rudimentary at best. Shows that first impressions aren't always right.

He was making his way back to the medibay when he bumped into the medic.

" Aah, Dell I vas just coming to check on you." The medic was blushing, strange.

" Did I need checking up on?"

"Vell, no, but you know vith a murderer about und you had been gone for quite some time I vas-"

" Wondering if you could salvage anything for you experiments?" The medic's face looked hurt but Dell knew it was probably an act. The guy was more obsessed with his birds than with his teammates, he wouldn't give a damn if anything happened to any of them so long as he could use the leftovers. He was a brilliant guy, and almost a friend, but the medic worried 'cause of a murderer about? Please.

" I did not mean to insinuate zat you could not take care uf yourself." He mumbled starring at the floor.

" Don't matter. Come on, I couldn't find a soldering iron but a customized blowtorch'll do just about the same thing."

He strode ahead of the medic, but couldn't place why the guy sported such a long face.

…..

" Soldiers, atten-TION!" THe male soldier called out. He and the most-definitely-not- japanese soldier had met in the courtyard where their comrade had been buried.

" Now, there's a murderer about. Disgusting insubordination in the ranks!" He yelled, addressing the recruit. Dark times called for great leaders to make speeches, it wasn't dark out yet, and he wasn't a very good leader but nonetheless this called for a speech.

" DISGUSTING!" She shouted back, echoing him.

" DO WE LET SUCH INSURRECTION SLIDE?!"

" NO!" She technically outranked him, so she did not use the title of sir and he had to let it slide, but the male soldier would have preffered it if she used 'sir'

" WELL WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO ABOUT IT?!" An honest question, having no clue what they should do about it he was forced to confer with his comrade. Silence pervaded the scene.

" WE SET UP A PATROL!" The female soldier finally shouted.

" YES, GOOD!"

" AND WE KEEP A LOOK OUT FOR ANYONE WHO DOESN'T SEEM AMERICAN!"

" THE CULPRIT IS ABOUT SOMEWHERE!"

And so they dispatched, marching and yelling various patriotic things. Patrolling, ensuring the safety of the good american citizens surely clustered inside while paralyzed with fear, that is the duty of the soldier.

…

Medic's log,

Dr. Saanvi Ghosh

Day two after explosion, late afternoon.

Have discovered colleague is leafing through these logs without my permission, I must therefore write with the fact in mind I can no longer jot down anything too personal without fear of it being put before the public. I never did, but it was nice to have the option to write personal things in a personal log, you know? For those whose eyes are unwanted here, you are a cowardly, lazy little vain son of a bitch.

Apologies for those terms, but it's fucking true. Also, who subjects themselves to my squiggly excuse for handwriting voluntarily? I suspect insanity.

Giulia has not resurfaced, worrying. Either she is dead, functioning as her normal sneaky self, or the killer and I'm not sure which horse to put my money on. All are equally probable considering the circumstances I just cannot puzzle out a motive, if she was the killer, for the life of me. Granted, Giulia wouldn't necessarily need a motive. I've seen her torture certain insects to death out of sheer boredom.

We've repaired the last of the damage to the energy grappler, and most other wirings and safety hoses have been fixed. Lucy had been holding us back some, and I'm not sure why but I must put it down to Mariya's death. Only viable explanation. We should be able to finish repairs on schedule and begin experimentation on inter dimensional properties tomorrow.

Work would also go faster if the colleague who's most likely reading this would quit mooning over his engineer and concentrate. Yes, you, I'm talking to you. I haven't let it go that you almost blew me up today. Quit reading my log Fritz, go back to your pretentious choice in musicals. Also, the soldiers have take to roaming the halls shouting about how they're going to " bring that son of a bitch in front of a judge and shoot him as the law states" or something. Who that son of a bitch is I have no idea but the yelling is quite distracting.

No other deaths so far. Thank whatever god/s that may or may not exist for that.


	22. Chapter 13

13. Night

"Ah, 'Is majesty approaches." The sniper drawled sarcastically. It was dark out but he didn't want to return to his room for fear of the inconsiderate sex noises returning. He'd retreated to a hall to the east of his room, and was leaning against a doorframe boredly. Now, he saw the spy storming down the hall carrying a load of freshly laundered suits, and figured he could amuse himself this way.

" Shut up, I know sat it was you who let ze pyros in my room."

" Careful sweethaht, you'll burn a hole in me glarin' loik tha'." He had no clue what the spy was talking about honestly, but riling the perky-assed frenchmen was something he could never resist. He would do this adorable little snort thing and storm off like the queen of sheba. Sniper liked a guy who was just a bit too dramatic.

" Creten." The spy spat. His ski mask did squat to disguise those razor sharp cheekbones. There was silence, and nothing but the smell of expensive fabric softeners radiating from the laundry.

" Why do you always torment me?" The spy finally broke the silence. " It is like you get some sick pleasure from my anger."

" If I troid to get your attention any otha' way, would you even give me a second glance?"

Conflict rose on what the sniper could see of the spy's face, until he finally admitted

"No."

" Well, there you go. Plus. loik I said earlier, you're cute when you're angry." Wink a little, grin a little, ah there was that familiar soul scorching glare.

" I hate you."

" You've made it clear. Oi'm surprised you even stopped to ask me that questian."

" Well, I- you," A string of angry cuss words in french. Dramatic, well proportioned, son of a bitch. The sniper waited for the enraged mutterings to die.

" SERE IS A MURDERER ABOUT!" Was finally spat out. Seeming taken aback by his own outburst, the spy quietly tagged on at the end. " Tomorrow you may not have been around sat I may ask."

Oh, that was it. End of the road, dying and suspense type of deal usually makes people impulsive. Unprofessional, but it explained a lot. Now that he considered it, that one kiss in hall could be the only one the sniper ever stole. The spy could die tomorrow and the last vision he'd have of those devilish cheekbones would be filth sprinkling on top of them as the team shoveled dirt into his grave.

'Maybe you need to go on an impulse for once.' He thought angrily. 'Act now or you may never be able to act on this again.'

" We're awl gonna die in the end." He whispered, moving closer so that the bundle of suits pressed into his chest. A few pounds of laundry was all that separated the pair.

" Sat is ze idiotic speech of a man afraid to die."

" True. Oi nevah said Oi wasn't scared." He said slowly, methodically. His heart pounded in his throat, and he reached for the spy's waist. " Aren't you scared to die?"

The suits were on the floor in half a second, the spy had dropped them, seized the sniper by the head and was kissing him violently. Their mouths collided like stones in an avalanche, tongues dancing like wildfire, and sparks virtually flew through the air. He smelled the fabric softener scent coating the spy; he was intensely warm and he wasn't sure if the heartbeat pounding against his skin was his own or the spy's. The sniper's hands fumbled over the spy's jacket, pulling at the lapels so it slid off the slim shoulders and down to the spy's elbows.

He continued, doing his best to battle the silk tie as the spy's lips tore away from his and went to his neck. The rough ski mask scratched at his skin but his lips found the sweet spot where the sniper's neck fused to his collarbone and worked over it with expert skill. A moan of pleasure tore from the sniper's lips.

" Shut up." The spy teased. He pulled away, flung his jacket to the ground and wrenched his tie the rest of the way off.

"Wait Oi," The sniper was cut off by another heart stopping kiss.

" I said shut up." Now the spy's mouth began toying with his ear, working it's expert way across his face. It felt like they were pressing themselves together with the intention to fuse permanently.

" Oi think we should probably get out of the hall." He managed, as he struggled to undo the buttons on the spy's shirt. The spy's arms were twisting around his, pushing off his vest and forcing their way up his shirt.

"What is sat door next to you?" Their mouths collided again, tongues twisting like serpents. Spy extracted a hand from under the sniper's shirt, and forced the door open.

The room looked little bigger than a closet, and one that hadn't been used in at least fifty years. Cobwebs coated everything, and there seemed to be no source of light inside.

" Perfect." The spy breathed, shoving the sniper inside so that he fell onto his back. The entire room smelled of dust.

" I hope you're not scared of the dark" Sniper chuckled as the spy sealed the door, and shadow enveloped them. The only answer was the spy's body bending onto his, and the warmth of the two of them writhing in the darkness.

…

Medic's log,

Dr. Saanvi Ghosh

Day three after explosion, _very _early morning.

Today is just going to be fantastic; yes that is sarcasm. We've optioned to keep twenty four hour guard over the teleporter, taking it in shifts except neither myself, nor my colleague, nor the male engineer trust Lucy alone with it in her state of…. to put it plainly uselessness and so we've slotted her to go last on day five by which hopefully we will be finished. We had to do quite a bit of senseless yammering to convince her that the decision was not because she was useless, but we managed so hooray for us.

I pulled the one a.m. to six a.m. shift today, it is five thirty and I am ready to shoot someone. I am cranky to say the least when I do not get enough sleep and I am worried I may not be able to function properly when I am needed to assist with regular work on the teleporter. I wouldn't be able to tell the difference between a metatarsal bone and phalange at this point.

As for the teleporter we've finished all inside repairs, the explosion's damage fully negated. My colleague was last reviewing his logs from the few days before we arrived so when he arises we should be able to work the teleporter's power to our whims. You could say we might as well have grabbed a new one instead of repairing the old, but you never know if a specific element of this teleporter is what allowed it to transport us here. It was just a matter of caution.

May I say, my colleague has a strange affection for birds. He keeps several doves around the medibay, most free range and tells them all apart by name. I can't tell one from the other but when one approaches him he will always say something like,

" Guten Tag, Herr Mendel"

" Ihre Federn sind schön sind, Eratosthenes."

" Leeuwenhoek, Ist, dass mehr Blut an ihre Schnabel?"

So he knows one from the other. I don't understand the German, and if I was not a pet owner myself I would think he was insane. Admittedly, I once scrutinized a thesis by reading it aloud to my goldfish. It's mostly common knowledge so I don't care about whatever slimeball who reads this without my permission knowing.

My colleague seems particularly fond of a bird called Archimedes. It sits on his shoulder for long periods of time, investigating his work. It's almost cute the way the pair of them are.

Good lord, here I am scrutinizing the relationship of a man and his birds. My apologies I am just so terribly bored, and tired, and the birds are on my mind as they are cheeping or chirping or whatever at me like crazy right now. I think they want me to feed them but… god their eyes are just fields of black; it's so creepy. Birds eyes are just so soulless, I can't see why anyone prefers them over fish.

I really need to get home. No one will have fed Armstrong, Aldrin or Collins this entire trip.


	23. Chapter 14

14. Medic's logs

Medic's log,

Dr. Saanvi Ghosh

Day three after explosion, morning.

I restate my hypothesis that my colleague is either a complete madman or an utter genius. It is precisely two minutes past nine after midnight, and I understand a great deal more about the workings of the universe than I did a few hours ago.

For one thing, I thank unknown deities that my colleague takes notes in extreme detail. His entire process of working with the teleporter up until the very last moment, including his midnight excursion that led to our arrival, is documented with the exact changes he made. It should be a very simple process to duplicate.

But what he actually did… it's practically suicide. Most of the main safety systems are disengaged, much like they were prior to the explosion. I always blamed an unknown saboteur for this but realistically all they had to do was disengage a few things and the entire device would become wildly unstable. An explosion in these circumstances would be far too easy to facilitate.

Still, his theorems are brilliant. He used Mr. Conagher's mechanical mind to gather information and execute his designs but all the theoretical reasoning is surprisingly original while being logical and straightforward.

Example:

If the location A is dimension folded to location B without stopping, location A1/2 does not exist on our dimensional plain. Thus said, stopping the teleporter mid fold would open you up to a non existent plain of reality. If none of the things in location A1/2 exist, technically there is nothing between location A and location B, but then why does that necessitate a dimension folding teleporter?

It ponders on like this for pages and pages of musings before coming to the conclusion that LOGICALLY there is an entire world between locations A and B, which we simply cannot be entered. My colleague took this information and found a way to supposedly enter except instead of him going in it pulled us out.

Genius or madman, I have no clue and these damn birds are getting to me. I'm going to bed, it's been a long night.

…

Medic's log,

Dr. Saanvi Ghosh

Day three after explosion, evening.

I'm ashamed to say I did not make it to my quarters before succumbinig to exhaustion. It seems after finishing my last log entry I collapsed onto a counter at the far back of the medibay and slept for eight or nine hours. My colleague is right about one thing, I'm far more eloquent in my journals than in person, as my cry when arising from slumber was,

" Bird shit _in my HAIR!"_ Because I awoke to find my colleagues precious Archimedes had defecated on my head. I love my hair too dear to cut it short, and my colleague adores that bird too much to let me strangle it, resulting in a very passive aggressive storming off to shower on my part.

I swear somebody is rigging these shift assignments. We drew straws for the one to six shift and I managed to be put in the position again. I've been absolutely useless all day what with the sleeping, and combined with the time it took to get the bird feces out of my hair I've made little to no contribution. Lucy made a serious error with the safety features, almost causing an entirely new explosion while I was unconscious. The subtraction of our efforts to the team have slowed pace, and we are only three quarters of the way to our goal of refitting the teleporter. I will do my best while the others are asleep, but without my colleague and Dell it will not be much.

Oh, Giulia resurfaced today. Her male counterpart reportedly saw her sulking behind a sofa in the lounge area ( These guys have a lounge area?!), around mid afternoon. I asked Lucy if she'd seen Giulia, as she'd left for lunch around that time, but she hadn't bumped into her.

Aoife has grown surprisingly attached to her counterpart, and vice versa. She shared with me that she's asexual a little while back when I was doing a routine check up ( okay, so it was an experiment, sue me), and I know she's had a lot of trouble hanging onto guys because of it. I pray to whatever deities exist/ don't she's told him and he's just a decent person and doesn't care. Last thing she needs is more trouble, especially everything she's been through.

She told me how she lost her leg once, around the same time. Sad really, her dad was drunk and picked her and her brothers up from school in the car. Never even saw the bus coming. Doctors had to take everything beneath her thigh; it killed her dad and little brother. You think she'd avoid booze after that but… I feel like it's almost her way of remembering her dad. It seems to be her major coping mechanism for most emotions anyway. She says both her remaining brothers drink too, but you'd never catch any of them in a car like that. Not even passengers. However, I'm grateful the accident did happen because she's been key in developing my thesis and experiments for limb regeneration.

Anyway I hope both the demolitions know she's going this week, most likely to never be seen again, and don't get it into their heads they can make things work. Happiness in the moment is great, but I don't want her heart any more broken. Aoife'd find a bottle and drown in it before any of us could fish her out.

…

Medic's log,

Dr. Saanvi Ghosh

Day four after explosion, ungodly early

Actually, what I said about my fish in the earlier log was wrong. I forgot I gave the guy in the apartment downstairs keys in case I did not appear for a few days so he could go turn off any lights, mechanisms, feed the fish, and possibly keep my corpse from rotting where it lays. I'd really prefer someone took care of my carcass before any sort of insects or neighborhood cats feasted on it. You never know when death may strike, doesn't hurt to take precautions.

I've been thinking about the asexuality a lot, and come to the conclusion that I am possibly a reverse asexual. I still have a physical drive, and can feel sexual pleasure, but I have never felt a romantic gravitation toward another human before. Male or female, black, white, hispanic, you name it, there's nothing. Not a single stirring of "liking" anyone. I thought I just hadn't met that person, and I did get somewhat bitter about the fact(I snapped at my colleague about this our first day in this universe) but maybe… maybe that's just who I am. And I think I'm okay with that. I will research this possibility more, see if there are other people in this category, and what the collective term might be.

It is, once again, those wee hours of the morning where the only sane beings awake are teenagers glued to their computers so they can hurriedly finish fan fiction chapters, and people working late shifts for whatever job they have been lured into. I am of course the latter. The twenty four hour guard still deemed necessary, and myself still drawing the short straw (literally) I am left to my own devices in these exhausting periods of time. I have generally spent the time brooding about my mostly meaningless life. I make my paychecks fixing up mercenaries who routinely die , but if I can just finish my research… perhaps this all will have meant something.

It's funny, my mother always wanted me to be a bollywood star. They came over from india before I was born, so I'm american through and through, but she dreamed I would go into film and to my credit I can sing fairly well. Little Saanvi songbird was her pet name for me. She wanted so badly for me to meet my grandparents; my parents gave up everything when they immigrated.

My father wanted me to be president. All american, determined, and he thought I had the face for the cameras like mom thought I had the voice for bollywood. He practically forbade me to speak hindi except around mom so I would be more fluent in english than the two of them combined. It's rare with hindu culture for a girl to be placed at such high value, but I was their only child and dammit I was going to succeed. He cried when I earned my diploma.

This is what exhaustion does to me; sends me prattling off about my parents. well, I'll never be president but I went into medicine so at least dad was happy about that. I still sing sometimes to my fish; does dancing in the kitchen count for mom? I guess what this is all about is… I don't want to have failed them. They never saw me married, never had grandchildren, I want at least part of me to have meant something more, for their struggle helping me in a world that seemed so against us to live on through my actions. I have to finish my research, make something of myself so I'm not just another immigrants' daughter. Limb autoregeneration-

They wouldn't forget the woman who facilitates that.

…

Medic's log,

Dr. Saanvi Ghosh

Day four after explosion, midafternoon.

I slept through another morning. My colleague had the decency to wake me when they needed another pair of hands, but I nearly dislodged the 67-I router which could have disable the entire left circuit. It was agreed I should not take another late night shift, else my incompetence could erase most of the entire week's work.

However, we are still making progress. We have matched most configurations dictated in my colleague's notes and should begin proper experimentation by this evening. Whatever god/s that may or may not exist _please_ let nothing else go wrong.

Mr. Conhager has managed to keep Lucy occupied with other tasks. Fetching this. screwing that, Oh sniper's rifle has malfunctioned perhaps you could fix it type of deal. She hasn't bumbled anything else related to the teleporter. Honestly, I don't know what's gotten into her. She's been terribly sulky of late.

I'm going to rest the remainder of the afternoon, and hopefully rise in time for the finishing touches.

…

Medic's log,

Dr. Saanvi Ghosh

Day four after explosion, _late_ evening/night

We're ready. All the pieces have been assembled, diagrams followed, casing secured… We agreed to assemble the team (minus Mariya) tomorrow morning to give it a shot. Fingers crossed that we soon find ourselves home with with nothing more than an interesting story.

Everyone has of course been alerted. I even bumped into Giulia at dinner and told her what time to meet at the medibay, but she only sniffed in response. I pray she doesn't blow it off, it would be like her to unnecessarily throw a wrench in things.

Aoife took the news… not well but she took it. She was downcast, and then slipped off. Most likely talking with Tavish about it if I know anything. I pray they leave each other on good terms, and I hope she's not so invested that this completely shatters her. I've had no clue about anyone else's activity the last few days as I've been practically living in my colleague's medibay.

Anyway… to home. To goldfish, and research, and the constant duty of killing _our_ BLU team. It's going to be strange to say the least. My colleague has pulled the late shift for tonight, but I'm not sure it's altogether necessary as whoever the killer is hasn't struck again.

Then again maybe that's exactly why it's necessary. This is my last log in this alternate universe, and I bid it a (not exactly fond) farewell.


	24. Chapter 15

15. Too soon for goodbye

It was the clattering that caught Dell's attention. The male engineer had been sleeping in his bunk downstairs, but had decided to do some last minute checks on the teleporter. You can never be too careful the day before a big event, but as he approached the medibay he heard clanking, clattering noises like there was a scuffle going on inside. There were barely any lights on, the only source of illumination was the filtered blue light coming from inside the medibay.

" What the hell's that?" A voice piped behind him, he jumped.

" Saanvi?" He said, turning to try and distinguish the silhouette he assumed was the female medic. "Why are you here?"

" I left my log in the medibay. You?"

" Last minute diagnostics. Couldn't sleep. God, what time is it?"

" Like two a.m"

Suddenly, a figure came bursting down the hall at top speed. It barrelled into them before they had time to make out any features, and tore down the hall.

" Hey, stop!" Dell called, but the figure rounded corner without slowing down.

"The teleporter!" Cried Saanvi, and the two of them dashed inside the medibay doors.

The teleporter was fine. It looked exactly as they had last seen it, resting on a mid table ready to be used. The teleporter was indeed perfect, but… the medic was not. He was collapsed in a sitting position in front of the table, clutching his side with a blood covered hand. He saw them, and smiled while weakly lifting a finger in the direction of the teleporter.

" I safed it." He choked out before crumpling to the ground.

Oh no, oh no, god no. Dell slid two his knees where the medic lay and gathered him in his arms. The medic's hand had slipped from his side, revealing an enormous, ragged gash in his side that bled profusely. The coppery scent soon flooded the room.

" Holy shit, holy shit, okay Dell you're going to need to keep pressure on that-" A gesture from the medic hushed Saanvi's babbling.

" It vill not vork." He said, a chuckle bursting forth. " Ze cut is too deep und too wide. I suppose I vill die momentarily."

How could he be so calm? Dell felt his hands shaking as the medic's blood seeped into his arm. He'd seen the man die a thousand times, but never in here, never for real. Ragged breathing shook the medic's torso, his head lolled to the side and as he coughed blood trickled over his chin.

" Who did this?" Dell growled. No answer. " WHO DID THIS?" He roared, shaking his comrade by the shirtfront.

" L-lucy." The medic said as he fought for breath. " She came in here… crazy she vas… she tried to break ze teleportah." He retched and a mixture of blood and bile escaped his throat. " I stopped her, but…" He attempted to shrug, but it came across as more of a painful arm spasm. Dell clutched onto him, trying to do anything… to hold him, to keep him here.

The lights were fading behind the medic's eyes, but with a last burt of strength he seized onto Saanvi's lab coat.

" Take care uf Archimedes for me." He gasped. Saanvi nodded, as his hand slipped from her coat, leaving bloody streaks down the front. A contented smile split the medic's face, revealing his teeth stained red.

" I nevah told you how much I luffed your eyes." He wheezed to Dell, trying to laugh but instead there was nothing but a racking cough. Dell felt his shirt sleeves soaking up more blood than he believed possible.

" Don't go." He said, half choking on the words, but it was no use. The smile on the medic's face was lifeless, his eyes had turned to glassy marbles. There was no more breath, no more voice. The medic was gone.

Two people, and one corpse, knelt in the growing pool of blood on the medibay floor. A void was burgeoning inside Dell. His friend, his colleague, he was just gone. Snuffed out with one last chuckle.

A scream of rage tore from his lips, and he hugged the medics torso to himself. He felt the last of his warmth seeping out with his blood. He screamed, he screamed as he felt tears sting the corners of his eyes. He screamed the tireless roar of those who have lost, and when he was done screaming… he could barely even whisper. But he had enough in him to whisper four words.

" I'm gonna kill her."


	25. Chapter 16

16. Man hunt, part 1.

The unexpected things in life are what hit you the hardest. It wasn't the sewage swimming around his knees that bothered the scout, it wasn't the fact that he'd been woken in the middle of the night to hunt down a sixteen year old, it was the fact that… they needed to hunt her because she'd killed the medic. Out of everyone to be the killer he'd never expected the kid, and out of everyone to die medic was the least likely candidate.

But he was gone. Snuffed out like a candle in the midst of a hurricane, and Lucy needed to be brought to justice. After hearing Dell's roars tear throughout the base, most had woken up and those who hadn't had been gathered by the others. By three A.M the Pyros had sussed out that Lucy had fled into the sewers via a door in the basement ( don't ask him how, those things were like bloodhounds when it came to tracking people), and they had taken a divide and conquer approach with two groups searching the two main sewer pipes.

The smell was the worst part. The tunnels were huge, built to hold years of mercenary manufactured waste, so there was plenty of room to stand up in them but the smell… god scout couldn't believe he used to complain about subway stations.

" It smells werse than iffa sheep shit on yer buets befar throwin' up a mule carcass!" Tavish yelled, gagging for effect. This particular tunnel was quite full, and waste products came up to everybody's shins or higher depending on their height.

" Yes, thank you for that imagery." The scout quipped. His group consisted of both demolitions, His regalness the spy, Crazy-texas-lady sniper, dude soldier, the pyro he thought was from his team, and… the arch nemesis.

In light of everything, maybe that title wasn't appropriate. Sure, she'd kicked the crap out of him the night her team's heavy died but she had left the scout alone after that. More importantly, she'd left Miss Pauling alone after that. Though he was still nursing bruises, scout had developed a sort of grudging respect for Chloe. She stuck up for herself, wouldn't take any of his crap. That's deserves at least a few points.

Oh god, here she comes.

" Hey." Chloe breathed, slogging her way over to him so she could talk without being overheard by the others. " You have any idea what we're doin'?"

" Checking tunnels for the- you know the,"

" Murderer?" They pushed on in silence, scout had to swerve to avoid a particularly nasty pile of stuff he didn't even want to think about floating in the ungodly fluids soaking into his shoes.

" I'm okay with calling Lucy a murderer." Chloe continued. " Murder's exactly what she did. But the fact that I know what she did doesn't mean I understand why." Scout shrugged.

" Why does anyone do anything? Maybe she's just crazy."

" Doesn't add up to the how. Knives aren't really her style, and if you didn't notice she's pretty small. I can't figure how she managed to strangle Mariya, not to mention taking care of the body."

More silence. All Chloe said was true, and scout wanted badly to talk to Miss Pauling about it. She was smart, she'd know how to explain this, but sadly she was on the other team in a different branch of tunnels. All that was here was the squelching feel of feet plodding through the ghastly muck, and the stench of their own feces.

" I should apologize." The scout finally broke the silence. " I was kind of a dick earlier. I guess it took all this wild shit for me to see I was just bein' jealous, an' maybe you're not as much of a total bitchfesty cuntbomb as I first thought."

" Poor apology."

" What do want, an opera? This is the first time in living memory I have even tried to say I'm sorry to someone, appreciate it please." Chloe chuckled.

" Again, piss poor apology. But I beat the crap out of you, so it makes up for it."

" Hey, I got my vision blocked, if not for that-"

They bantered for several minutes, cussing and tossing insults back and forth. As subtly as a mosquito's wing twitch, a silent conversation was slid under their words.

' I was a homophobic tool to you this week. I avoided you the rest of the time because you made me feel guilty about it'

' I know man, we're good. I think I have a good thing going for me by just sticking with revenge sniper sex.'

' I respect you as a person'

' Same.'

Of course, their real conversation was far less articulate, but the meaning was there. After a few snickers among the filth, they sealed the exchange with scout tossing out,

" I still say the yankees are a piss poor excuse for a team." And chloe replying

" Puh-lease. Red socks suck cocks, true fact of the universe dude."

…

" Ar yue okay?" Tavish prodded as he slogged next to Aoife in the sewage.

" The qwestion's no' if eim okay, s'if yer okay. Yer medic's dead."

" Faer point." For a moment there was only the sound of fluids squelching beneath their shoes.

" So? Are yew okay?" Tavish shrugged.

" I'd feel bettahr with a dreink." He saw guys die all the time, that was nothing special. Dead forever; now that was a different matter. Aoife pulled up short behind him.

" Jesus Mary an' Joseph, yew thenk everythin' can be solved with alcohol!"

" Keep yer voice doewn." Tavish said, stopping beside her. Some of their other teammates had given an odd glance at her proclamation, and he didn't want this conversation broadcast to everyone.

" Oi will no' keep ma' voice down!" Aoife practically shouted.

" Oh, so i's like yue think aney different? I've seen ya' dreink, yue don' dreink liek someone who wouldan' use it ta cope!" Firing back now, he turned on her.

"It's different!" Aoife spat.

" In wha' way?!"

They were both yelling now, oblivious to the others. What did Aoife mean it was different? She drank like he did, no different, and after this he'd expect her to go for a drink right alongside him. Why the hell was she being so high and mighty, who gave her the right?

" Yew don' undarstand!" She hollered.

" Then help me, don' scold me!"

" MAI DA' AN' MAI LITTLE BRUTHAR DOID BECAUSE 'E DRANK. HE DROVE, AN' HE DRANK AN' HE PICKED US UP FRUM SKUEL AN' HE RAMMED INTO A BUS! ARE YEW HAPPY?" Screaming the final words, Aoife collapsed like a balloon someone had let all the air out of. No tears, but she deflated and flopped against the moist tunnel walls.

Everyone else stared, but Tavish waived them on impatiently and he heard them squelch on through the sewage. He was stunned as well, so not knowing what else to do he tucked his pride away for a moment and wrapped Aoife in his arm.

" An' now-" She breathed quietly, her voice sounding farther away than it was. " Yer goin' ta ask mei why oi drink. If da' doid and killed mei bruthar with alcohol why do oi drink? If it cost mei ma' leg why do oi drink? If it's hurt mei in a way nothin' else possibly could why do oi drink? And honestly," She broke off as a single tear rolled down her face. " Oi don' know. Maybe because it makes me ferget for a bit, how mean everyone is, in which case yer roight an' oi'm just usin' it ta cope. Maybe because da' drank… is how oi remembar him? Sounds stuepid as awl hell but maybe tha's it."

" S'not stuepid." Tavsih said, for lack of anything else.

" Stuepid or not, Oi'm not doing it again."

" What?"

" Drinking. Oi'm never doin' it again. All this death… Oi see now loife's too short to be spent down a bottle. Oi'm no' goin' to let maself cope with things by runnin' to a liquer store anymore, oi've got to face them head on or oi'm no' worthy to call maself a woman."

There was silence, just the two of them wrapped together in a sewer with the cold slime of god knows what running down their backs.

" Maybe we could due it togethar." Tavish whispered. Now it was Aoife's turn to be surprised.

" What?"

" Maybe yue're right about it not bein' the best way to deal with thangs. Problem is Ay can't go sobar bei meself, Ay'd binge within an hour. If we stuck tagehtar, yue help me, Ay help yue, we could do it."

" But the teleportar, and mai team-"

" Wha' due yue have to go back to? Yue tol' me 'bout yuer life, yue haven't seen yuer other brothers in months, parents dead, is anaythin' waitin' for yue at home? Screw yer team, hell screw main! We could due it, jus' runnaway an' not look back."

" Don't yew have a mum?" Tavish was silent.

" Please, jus' thaink abou' it." He finished, before standing up and continueing to slog through the filth.

Aoife waited till all there was was the sound of his plodding footsteps in the muck, and then she too continued down the foul smelling tunnel. They had a murderer to catch after all.

…

" Goddamn this is stuck tighter than a fat man in an elevator!" The female sniper groaned, heaving at a solid metal door they had come across. The sign read ' Danger. Keep out. High voltage.' with a pleasant caricature of a stick figure being electrocuted, and the door seemed to be soldered shut.

" Where's the demolitions? We need to blow this open!" She yelled.

" Why?" The spy drawled. He had been just as rattled as everyone else with the medic's death, though he'd tried not to show it. Waking up to the sounds of the engineers yelling, hastily dressing to see what had occurred, he hadn't even had time to think of what might be waiting for him. He'd simply laid eyes on the body, heard they had to hunt down a teenager, and stalked from the room so as to hyperventilate in private. He'd never admit it, not even to the sniper ( their relations after the one night stand had been less hostile than normal, even going so far as civil conversation) but death scared him shitless. He liked this world, like his suits and ski masks and closet sex; he wouldn't give it up for anything. Permanent death… well it would deprive him of those. It seemed he had not been as covert as he hoped, once the teams had been divided and everyone was entering the sewers the australian had pulled him aside.

" You're not okai."

"I'm fine." He snapped, shrugging off the hand that had been placed on his shoulder.

" We're all scared, no need to act tough."

" I said I'm fine!" His voice turned into a snarl, and he backed away. The spy was being uncouth, he knew it, but he'd spent too long stifling his fear to blubber to someone he'd only just slept with that week. Besides, it's not as if anyone cared enough to- wait.

What was that? Something had flashed in the sniper's eyes, was that… was that hurt? There was genuine hurt in the australian's face! Why should he be hurt, the romance in the closet hadn't changed how they acted toward each other. There was no profound difference, sure maybe conversation that didn't dissolve into insults, but there hadn't been any grand gestures of love.

Actually, maybe there had been. 'Spy, you miserable _fils de pute, _you can play women like a harp should you desire but men are ever a surprise! The closet _was _a grand gesture for the sniper, he considers himself such the professional it must have killed him to do anything spontaneous. And then what did you do, brush it off and just ice him back to the old ways?' The spy lectured himself. And now to top it all off, he'd gone and snapped at the man like he was some kind of diseased animal approaching. Of course the australian was hurt! He'd shown his affection through a decision that must have been difficult to make, and then had it brushed off as some sort of casual gesture.

"_souffle du pénis._" The spy had cursed under his breath, and did the only thing he could think of to apologize for just how royally he'd fucked up. He'd grabbed the australian by the head and kissed him. Not long, not hard, but enough.

" Oi think yer croiying." The australian said after, chuckling and raising a hand to the spy's ski mask. It was wet in two long streaks below his eyes.

" I love you." Spy breathed in return. " I have frosen you out, and called you names, and I will still say your accent is se worst way a human could possibly speak but I zink sat I love you."

There was more kissing, soft, sweet, gentle kissing on mouths and noses for both men. Finally, the sniper broke away.

" Don't die down there." Pulling off, he sloshed through the sewer pipe the rest of his team had started down. He had left the spy to catch up to the others, not stopping to listen to any warning from the spy that he may be the one to die.

Asshole. Now the spy was standing next to the sniper he did not love at all, the she-hulk texan who was hollering for the demolitions.

" If you had just killed someone where would you hide? Medic did tell me a soldering went iron went missing earlier this week, maybe Lucy sealed herself in! Now we need the demolitions to get the door open." She exclaimed in response to his question. The fluids swilling round their boots reeked of, well, of sewage. Spy never imagined he'd have to wade in his own shit as part of the job.

" It seemed sat ze demolisions were having a bit of a lover's quarrel earlier. I would not count on sem showing soon."

" TRAITORS!" The male soldier shouted, who had been hovering to the left.

" Oh shut up you inbred." If he was going to be civil to the australian the second most annoying person in the base had to be the soldier. But, ah, right on cue the demolitions showed up. Looking like how everyone else felt, no less.

" What was that yelling about?" The Chloe scout quipped. Spy took back what he thought about the soldier, he still disliked the scout most of all. He had no problem with Chloe, she had just reminded him how much he hated the male. Thank god the demolitions didn't answer her question, only saw the texan straining at the door and began to set to work. One swift operation of what the demolitions called " primary school stuff" later and with a groaning of metal work they were in.

There was a small room inside the door. It was mildewed, with a musty stench and worn down electrical equipment spaced throughout. A thick layer of dusted coated most things inside. There were a few exceptions

One thing that wasn't covered in dirt was a corpse. It was burned to practically to a char, eliminating face recognition but the body couldn't have been over five one. No close, shoes, or tools around it but it had delicate little hands perfect for reaching between wiring, and around the head you could just see a delicate tuft of hair remaining; a tuft, specifically, of strawberry blonde hair.

The spy vomited onto his shoes. He retched more , and over his retching he could hear various voice utterances of " Oh shit, oh shit, oh mother fucking holy god mother of shit."

" God how long has she been here?"

" Ugh, I can smell it now!"

" Corpse can't be younger than three days."

" Than huew-"

" Oh, FUCK! GIULIA!" This last sentence came from Chloe. Of course, who could it be? He couldn't recall seeing the female engineer or that pitiful excuse for a spy in the same room anytime after the second day. Motive? Screw motive the woman was psychotic! As the scent of his upended stomach mingled with all the other pleasant thing assaulting his nose, he heard the female sniper continue.

" Wasn't GIulia with the other team?"

"Shit, they could be anywhere by now!"

" They outnumber her how could she-"

That's when they heard the screaming begin. It came from deep within the sewer tunnels. It was long, it was loud, it was most definitely from a female the spy had never expected to hear scream.

" MISS PAULING!" The male scout roared, dashing out into the tunnels. He tore off frantically in the direction of the screams. " I'M COMING MISS PAULING!"

The spy straightened and dashed after him. It would be a tragedy about Miss Pauling, but by her screams she was beyond saving and he had another person on his mind. He had never been a good runner, and the soup around his legs made him even slower, but adrenaline had begun to pump through him and as he fought to catch up to the scout all he could do was mutter in a childish hope that the australian could hear him.

" Don't die down there."


	26. Chapter 17

17. Man hunt, part 2.

" Did you love him?" The engineer heard a chocolaty voice say on his left. He turned and saw the female medic walking next to him.

" What?"

" You medic, did you love him?" A long silence, where there was nothing but the sounds of footsteps splashing through thin puddles of sewage. This tunnel was somewhat emptier than the first few they came across, fluids only sometimes getting deeper than their heels.

" I… I don't think so." The engineer managed. " He was a good friend, and Lucy's going to have hell to pay when I find her, but I never- maybe in time I could have- I"

" It's okay." She cut him off. The engineer was grateful. The whole thing, the betrayal, death, all of it had left him shaken. He wasn't even sure how he felt after angry, all he could picture was the blood seeping into his clothes and feeling the medic's final shuddering breaths.

He bit his lip to keep from crying. It didn't quite work; a single, hot, angry tear spilled down his chin.

" He loved you, you know." The engineer wiped his face.

" I pieced that together." The final comment about his eyes, that had been enough to let him know. Medic never would have said that without intentions. That fact, that medic had somehow been in love, it bubbled in his stomach and made him want to vomit out of… confusion? Abhorrence? Guilt? As if reading his thoughts Saanvi spoke again,

" You don't need to feel guilty about it."

" Look, do you have a point with all of this or are you just trying to hurt me more for some sick reason?"

" No." Her voice was quieter now. " I just wanted to say that, sometimes we don't love people back. And at first it hurts and you feel guilty, or angry, but I'm telling you now that it's okay that you didn't love him when he was alive. Him being dead won't change that you didn't love him, and you shouldn't fool yourself into thinking you did." She told it to him straight, that was good. No beating around the bush, or meaningless banter in between.

" You seem like you've had work this out yourself." Saanvi grimaced.

" I have a lifetime of disappointing people romantically on my back. I've finally pieced together that it's okay to not love them back, but maybe you hadn't yet."

" Thanks."

" My words won't change how you feel at all, right?"

" Yeah." Words helped, but not with feelings. Feelings were beyond reasoning with, like small children demanding to be noticed.

" Good." Saanvi smiled, a grim smile where her mouth pressed into a small line. "Nothing anybody ever told me changed it. Means you're human."

More silence. Their team was a few paces ahead, made up of the male sniper, Miss Pauling, the remaining heavy, female soldier, and male? pyro. Giulia was also there, forging ahead of the others.

" Your spy's pretty nonplussed about this whole thing."

" To be expected. Giulia's pretty secretive about herself, but I get the feeling she's on the far end of the psychopathic spectrum. I once… I walked in on her torturing rats, in really gruesome ways too. She just sat there laughing to herself. I didn't know what to do so I just backed out of the room."

" You didn't tell anyone?"

" I told everyone! Of course they believed me, but what's the big deal? So long as she was using her skills against the BLU team and not us we were fine. I might have thought she was the one targeting us all in a fit of boredom, if…"

" Lucy didn't kill the medic." The words caught a little in his throat, but Del forced them out.

" Yes. Although… that still doesn't make a whole lot of sense."

The team rounded a bend in the pipe, turned left and found themselves at a dead end. Giulia was grinning from ear to ear, sidling her way back into the pack.

" Aw, what the hell?" The male sniper groaned. " We're goin' to have to backtrack for ages to figure out another path."

" Precisely." Giulia chuckled.

" Precisely what?" A suspicious Miss Pauling said, moving toward her.

" You would alla have to run for ages to geta back to your oser friends. You haven't beena paying attention to where we've beena going, justa following me blindly through the tunnels. And now-" She pulled a revolver from a holster around her leg. " We're going to hava some fun."

The events following took place almost too fast for the engineer to process. Giulia pulled the trigger, a thunderclap of sound and Miss Pauling sunk to her knees. He saw blood blossoming from Miss Pauling's chest, soaking down her shirt front as her jaw practically unhinged and she let loose a terrifying scream.


	27. Chapter 18

18. Madness

Pyro was beginning to be rather annoyed. A lot of his cherub friends weren't bouncing back up when they dropped from the sky now. First it was the new one with mustard hair, then he noticed that the small one with the helmet disappeared ( even though the new one with a ski mask switched to looking like her a lot it wasn't the same). After that the one who could make him feel better when the BLU cherubs pelted him with lollipops got doused in candy syrup and he too flutered to the ground. Now, he saw the skimask one who-was-not-the-small-one-with-the- helmet-but-looked-like-her actually _shove_ the purple cherub with glasses! And while she was struggling to bounce back up it didn't look like she was going to be able to, her wings had gotten all sticky with taffy from the candy hills.

This was not to be tolerated. The skimask cherub would have to get a taste of her own medicine if she was to become a better person. Just like he did with the BLU cherubs, pyro would smack her down as part of the fun and then while she recovered he and the rest of the cherubs would laugh and go make powdered sugar angels.

…

" Don't you make a move!" Giulia shrieked as she saw the pyro whip out his ax. " Don'ta anyone soa much asa think about makin' a move." She cackled, still listening to the yells and gasps of horror that had come after she'd shot the Pauling woman. " We'rea gonna have a some fun, _si?_ I've had such fun here the last few days I never want to leave! Firsta strangling the rhinoceros of a heavy, such a challenge. Then, the wheedling, noisy littla engineer! She was necessary toa disrupt fixing se teleporter but also-"

Giulia didn't even see the pyro was still moving. In all the commotion, people struck dumb with what had just occurred, or rushing to Miss Pauling's aide pyro easily crept to the side of the tunnel, scootching their way along with their hand gripped around their ax handle while Giulia's cackles reverberated madly off the walls

…

Oh dear, the cherub didn't want to learn its lesson. It fluttered through a sugar mist cloud, sticking its tongue out at pyro, and distressing the other cherubs. Now, what a rude way to behave. Education is best thing for everyone, it would thank pyro when he had finished. As it fluttered about in mad spirals pyro positioned himself for a firm, but playful swat.

…

Blood. The heavy could smell blood. It worked its way up his nostrils, clawing into his brain with its rust soaked copperiness, Miss Pauling was on the ground, she was bleeding and she was bleeding a lot. The puddle of waste she'd fallen into couldn't be good for the cleanliness of the wound.

Heavy couldn't think. Bleeding men was one thing, it was exciting, it was his job, but when a woman was hurt he couldn't think straight. When he looked instead of Miss Pauling's face on the body he saw his sisters' faces. First it was Zhanna, then Yana, then Bronislava, now his mother…

He couldn't move. He could just stare in horror while the doctor rushed to Miss Pauling, and the Italian cackled, repositioning for another shot. He couldn't think, he couldn't move, all he could do was watch his family dying in Miss Pauling's place. For the first time in his life the heavy was completely helpless.

…

Time to swat! The pyro was armed and waiting, he saw a lovely cherub with silky black hair trying to clear the gum off the purple one's wings, and he hoped she would do well but he couldn't help. It was time to do the right thing for everyone so they could go sit on a rainbow and eat magic gumball flavored soda cream.

Pyro was so good and kind, he readied his arm only a hair's breath away and gently, _gently_ tapped the ski mask cherub.

…

The sniper was about to spring into action when he heard it, a dull, stomach turning "_thwack!"_, and a sickening splash. Pyro was standing behind Giulia, ax bloodied in their hands, while Giulia's body crumpled to the ground. Her head had rolled a few feet away, coming to rest at the feet of the engineer with her features still contorted into a cruel smile.

It was if all the noise had been sucked from the room. There was still the splashes of the medic trying to haul Miss Pauling to her feet, the breathing of the heavy who seemed to be having a panic attack, but it was muted and far away. Sniper couldn't take his eyes of the head, crimson blood spilling into the muddy sludge.

That could've been him that she'd shot. He could've died- ' Snap out of it, you asshole!' He thought frantically. 'You're not dying but Miss Pauling will if you don't find a way out!'

Moving into action, he dashed over to the medic and they hauled Miss Pauling to her feet. She was unconscious, but they supported her in a way where they might be able to carry her out.

" We have to get her up to the medibay. Gunshots I can fix, but I need supplies and we don't have a lot of time."

" I have no clue which way is out in this mess, do ya think-"

But the heavy interrupted his panicking. He seized Miss Pauling from between them and threw her over his shoulder where she dangled like a ragdoll. Silently, he turned toward an off shoot branch of tunnels and charged at full speed.

" Where are you going?!" The engineer yelped, but then he paused and looked at sniper. Sniper nodded, he heard it too.

Coming from those tunnels were yells. Shouts of 'are you guys okay?' and 'Don't trust Giulia!' and ' I'm coming miss pauling!' echoed off the walls. The engineer forged after the heavy, the rest dashing in pursuit. Before charging after his team, the sniper took one glance back at the source of all their trouble.

Giulia's blood had seeped all over the tunnel floor, her body collapsed like a barbie doll someone had abandoned. Her head was lolled on it's side, still smiling in her grotesque fashion. However, out of this nightmare inducing sight, one thing would stick with sniper til the day he died. Though he didn't know it, it would haunt his deepest darkest midnight terrors, and be the one thing he's always wish he could forget.

The pyro was lying in a puddle of human waste and blood, content as could be, making a sludge angel. He even seemed to be humming.


	28. Chapter 19

19. Dying

Miss Pauling had been shot before. It was practically a prerequisite for her job, and not only had she been shot but she'd been stabbed, burned, sliced, choked, and beaten. Pain was nothing new, the same way killing was nothing new. She embraced with an air of resigned reluctance on most occasions, as normally it was just an inconvenience.

This time had been different. This time she was in a sewer where no one who knew where she was could help in time. This time it wasn't just a bullet to the leg, or the arm, or even to the gut, she had felt where it entered and it felt _very_ close to her heart. Maybe it was even inside time it wasn't listed as the possible dangers of a mission, hell this time there hadn't even been a mission! So this time Miss Pauling opened her mouth and had done something that was just as out of the ordinary as the shooting. She screamed.

And then she fell. She remembered falling, feeling the moist waste soak onto her side, and she remembered the fuzziness swelling in her head, in her vision. She remembered hearing cackling, and feeling something warm and wet joining the cold sewage. She even tried denying that it was her blood.

The next bit is where things got hazy. Her thoughts seemed to slow down, instead of trains they were caterpillars, taking their time to much leaves on their sluggish journey. Not bothering to connect to anything, just being. She kept swimming in and out of blackness, one minute on the ground, the next feeling someones shoulder digging into her gut and being jostled like they were moving quickly. There were voices, pained, angry voices that seemed to be reaching her from far away.

" -to the medibay"

" Zank god you are alright!"

" Jezus, what happened-"

" Lucy's dead-"

" We know."

Each snippet seemed a mile apart from the others. Disjointed, disconnected, but she was still moving, moving, moving, always moving. Flashes of things in front of her eyes, a bend in a tunnel, someone's face running next to her, a staircase… all so far away. Was this what it was like to die? Another sluggish though, of course she was dying. Why else would she hurt so much?

There was one voice that was more frequent than the others. Talking more, but also even more strained than the others.

" OH JEEZUS FUCK! You know what, she'll be okay. She'll be okay, right doc?"

" It's not even that bad, Miss Pauling you're gonna be fine."

" Just hang on while we get you back up to the base."

It was the scout, but he could have been talking from outer space for all Miss Pauling was concerned. Her world was dislocated, like looking at everything through a kaleidoscope that kept turning off. Still, she listened to him whenever she returned from darkness.

" Don't die."

'I'm trying not to' She managed to think. Her mouth didn't want to work.

" You're going to be fine, you'll see we're almost to the medibay and you'll be fine."

'If I'm going to be fine how come your voice is shaking?'

" Look, see there's the door. Just stay with me a little longer, stay with me-"

' I don't think I can.'

" Alright, medic's going to get you all patched up. I'm going to hold your hand while she works, okay? You can hang in there, I know you can, you're the strongest person I've ever met."

'I'm not strong enough for this.' She hurt so bad, and in the back of her mind there was a warm nothingness opening like a flower in bloom. She wanted to slip into it, to be free for a few moments, but scout sounded so urgent. She should probably stick around.

" Stay with me. A little bit longer, a little bit longer, just stay with me."

'I don't want to stay anymore.' She was going to die, and the nothing felt so safe…

" Please, god, please! Miss Pauling I know you can do this, you can do this, you're strong you're-"

'I'm sorry scout.' As she slipped into the warm darkness she caught a glimpse of the scout's face, tightened in anguished horror, and she had a last flash of

' I'm so, so sorry.'

…

" That's all we can do scout." Saanvi said quietly wiping her hands on a cloth and resting one on his hunched shoulders. She'd slaved to repair as much of bullet wound as possible, but Miss Pauling had still slipped into a coma. She wasn't dead, in fact she was stable, but if she didn't wake up soon she'd end up slipping away.

" Are you sure there isn't something else you can do?" The scout's voice was subdued, as if he were afraid to speak.

" She's stable scout. That's about all we can ask for." His face crumpled. 'Dammit Saanvi, say something!' " If she wakes up she'll live, and she's fighter scout. She's a real good fighter." She gave a half hearted pat and let go. After all, wasn't some hope, no matter how faint, better than no hope?

Scout just nodded, and stood. He let Miss Pauling's hand slip from between his fingers, and it fell to her side like it was made of led.

"Listen, scout you need to get some rest."

" I want to be here if-" he stopped mid sentence and exhaled sharply. " I want to be here _when_ she wakes up."

" I'm sure she won't mind you getting some sleep. Most of us have been up since before three, how would you feel if she woke up and you were too tired to make any sense of anything she said?"

" But-"

" Sleep. Now."

" Fine, but I'll be doing on the floor just outside."

" I can't win everything."

Scout slouched out, looking like a beaten dog. Saanvi knew he wouldn't actually sleep, but she'd made her point. Hopefully he'd listen, and him being out gave her space to think.

Miss Pauling's coma made another issue. This team had no medic now, and she knew everyone on her's would be itching to get home. If they did decide to use the teleporter, it would be before Miss Pauling either woke up or died. Saanvi could just leave, go back to her goldfish and research and not think about it, but if she did that… she didn't know if she could forgive herself for not sticking things through to the end. Not knowing what had happened, if she succeeded or failed, it would torture her for the rest of her life. Then again, if she stayed there would be the possibility of never going back. The teleporter might be a one time option, if it worked at all. Could she really decide to leave her entire team, her entire world, to see if a woman she'd only known for a few days would live?

There was a third option, but she didn't want to think about it. It was crazy, it was unorthodox, it was a last ditch effort. But… wasn't this a last ditch situation?

…

Scout had no intention of sleeping. Sure, the medic had thrown him out but he was going to be right here when Miss Pauling woke up. She was going to wake up, she had to wake up. She was practically invincible, he'd never seen her ruffled by any of the shit they'd put her through all these years. She'd pull through.

" Yer dedicaytion's admirable." Scout turned and saw the sniper standing on the other side of the door, sewage filth still clinging to his boots.

"Thanks, I guess." Scout grunted. " Shouldn't you be getting some sleep?"

"Shouldn't you?" Sniper plopped down next to him, folding his legs across themselves.

"You know why I can't." Sniper just nodded.

" Oi don' think anyone's gettin' much sleep tonoight." Silence. What do you say to something like that?

"Oi nevah really liked you." Sniper finally said.

" How touching."

" Shut up. Anyway, I nevah really liked you. You're touchy, unprofessional, and and all around something of an asshole."

" I'm really not seeing where you're going with this."

" I'm trying to say, even though you're a jerk… you're loyal. Tha' goes a long way with me. And with everything tha's happened, maybe we should try acting more like teammates."

A pause, not that scout was opposed, he was just digesting information.

" Yeah, okay."

" _All of us _should start acting like teammates."

" I already said sure, whattdya-" he broke off, seeing a look on the sniper's face like he was hinting at something. " Aw, fucking hell you mean the spy too? You need to talk to your boyfriend about that, he's the one with the stick up his ass." Sniper chuckled.

" First off, not my boyfriend. Not yet."

" Ew."

" Let me finish, and don' be such a homophobe. Anyway, Oi won't say anything contrary about the stick, Oi'm planning on talking to him about it. However, you need to be just as willing to bury the hatchet."

" Fine. But he has to apologize first, after that I'm the best at burying hatchets."

Sighing, the sniper said,

" Oi'm glad. Why don't you like eachotha anyway, besides obvious personality contrasts?"

" Well, it all started with him and my mom-"

" Actually, another time. Maybe. I should get some sleep." He stood quickly. The last thing sniper wanted to hear about the spy's sexual adventures with persons outside of himself.

" Yeah okay, I figured it'd be awkward. Don't fuck anybody right now, I feel like that's in bad taste."

" I'm not you. I have some class."

" You sound just like the spy."

"Piss off." Stalking away, the sniper chuckled to himself. While he left, scout steadied himself for his vigil.

It was going to be a long wait.

…

Medic's log,

Dr. Saanvi Ghosh

Six hours after Giulia Incident

I made a previous report of the occurrences in the sewers. I wish not to speak of it again unless it is relevant to the current issue. The current issues being the coma my patient slipped into.

I have decided to go for it. I am utilizing my research into limb regeneration, applying it as a last ditch effort to restore the damaged tissues of the patient, and hoping that full tissue reconstruction is enough to break the comatose state. Either that, or the process of tissue regeneration will be so shocking to her system it will restart neurological activity. Like the effect of choking someone while they are asleep, she may wake up from her system's reflex to fight.

Or she could just die. I have enough blood on my hands to be used to death, and the patient would likely die if I followed any of the other paths presented, but the death would be caused specifically from my actions whereas before she may have had a slim chance of survival. I do not think this will push me into the favor of the male team. But… won't it be worth it if I save her?

I have the materials to reconstruct my work. It shouldn't take long, I know the formulas more precisely than men know their dick size, and a clinical test will be good for it. This is what I'm telling myself in case you haven't noticed. Sometimes I wish I was as cool as my colleague, but in reality I cannot bring myself to abandon a patient without knowing the results. All I can see is she is most definitely dying, and I may have the resources to help her.

Unknown deities please give me strength.


	29. Chapter 20

20. Living

Scout had been just nodding off when he heard Saanvi cursing inside the medibay. It wasn't loud, but it was forceful; in a way where he knew something had gone wrong .

" Shit, what happened?" He yelled, bursting into the medibay. The sight that greeted him was not promising.

Saanvi stood over Miss Pauling, holding a large glass syringe in one hand and the other feeling around Miss Pauling's neck, like she was checking for a pulse. Beakers and test tubes were strewn across lab tables, various chemicals scout couldn't recognize the names of rolling about in childproofed containers. The area looked like the very essence of science itself had spewed a disorganized mess of lab junk in every corner it could reach.

Saanvi's hand movements grew more frantic. " Shit. Fuck. Hell. Asshole. Holy shit." Her voice rose, and she quickly tossed the syringe over her shoulder and it shattered against a wall. The pieces clattered to floor almost musically.

" What the hell did you do?" Scout demanded. Saanvi wasn't listening, she had frantically started performing CPR, her hands pounding over Miss Pauling's chest.

" Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck." She swore, almost in a rhythm that kept time with her chest pumps. " Her heart's stopped!"

Scout couldn't move.

" You killed her!" He spat, rage beginning to bubble in his gut. Saanvi had done something to Miss Pauling and now she was dead.

" I'M TRYING TO SAVE HER YOU INBRED!"

" YOU KILLED HER!" The scout roared, anger making him feel as if he'd been set on fire. He rushed at Saanvi, with the intent to tackle her but she slapped him hard across the face.

" Think with you head, not your heart. I know it's difficult to pull it out of you ass for longer than a few goddamn seconds, but fucking help me!" She turned back to Miss Pauling, pumping her chest frantically. Shaking his head to try and clear his thoughts, he stared blankly.

" W-what do I do?" He stammered.

" Get. The. God. Damn. Defibrillator." Each word punctuated her motion.

Where the fuck would that be? Scout dashed around the room, flinging open cabinets, searching under tables.

" You're taking too long!"

" I know!" There it was! He hauled the kit out from under a counter, and lurched it toward Saanvi.

" Take over while I set this up." She shoved him over Miss Pauling and began to hurriedly unpack the kit. Scout started pumping his hands in ways he'd seen EMT's doing back home. He pumped, and he prayed, and he swore.

" Fucking stay with me." He prayed as Saanvi shoved him aside and began trying to electrify life back into Miss Pauling.

" Stay with me." He said, almost a frantic prayer as the minutes ticked by. He saw Saanvi lower her defibrillator paddles.

" STAY WITH ME!" He shouted, his voice cracking into a sob. Saanvi had put down the kit, and was restraining him from grabbing Miss Pauling and trying to shake her awake. He fought, kicking and screaming like a toddler being sent to time out.

" It's all we could do scout!"

" You killed her!" Scout bawled. He felt Saanvi's arms go slack suddenly, and when he broke away her face looked like the haggard face of an old woman.

" I know. I tried to save her- I thought I was..." Was all she whispered, the words barely crossing her lips. " I know."

They stood, in silence, confused, hurt silence. Until, that is, they heard a groan from another spot in the lab.

" Is someone else dead, because this body count is already too high for my liking." They whirled and saw a bloodstained Miss Pauling sitting up on a lab table, and pealing bandages off a wound that already had already formed a new layer of bright pink skin.

" Also, what the hell happened in here?"


	30. Chapter 21

21. Goodbyes

Medic's log,

Dr. Saanvi Ghosh

Nine hours after Giulia Incident

It is early afternoon now. Mostly everyone's drifted off to sleep, the male scout included. After Miss Pauling's awakening, she collapsed and required a heavy dose of morphine to sedate her. It seems the serum, while healing a decent portion of her injuries, sapped her strength to an extreme degree and she requires several days of bedrest.

On a related point, it worked. It fucking worked. It wasn't perfect, it nearly killed her, but the serum… MY serum was a success. In the next few pages I will detail the exact procedure used and who knows where it can go from there! When we return home I'll be able to continue this, see what may be improved.

We're returning home this evening. I'm leaving detailed instructions for Miss Pauling's care, but it's pretty basic stuff. The engineer did some last checks on the teleporter, so once everyone who's… who's left wakes up and says their goodbyes we'll be returning. Who know's what that'll feel like, returning after all this. I should probably get some bag time in before we go but everytime I try and shut my eyes I see her. Her, with her head gone, body slumping, while blood and sewage fill my nostrils.

I think we all lost a lot in those tunnels, even if it wasn't our lives. Something feels missing, like I've been hollowed out and the others look how I feel. Something's been broken that I don't think can be fixed, not even with a last ditch silver bullet. Whatever it is I know a piece of me is never coming out of that stretch of sewer; it'll always be in the dark hell where we left Lucy and Giulia to rot.

…

" Yew're doin' wha'?"

" Oi'm stayin'." Aoife crossed her arms. She'd found Tavish sitting ruefully outside his liquor closet, resisting the urge to binge. " Oi've just been ta' hell an' back with those gerls an' oi'm not goin' any furthar. Besoids, sambodies goin' ta haf to keep yue on the wagon." She plopped down next to him and detached her prosthetic leg, massaging the stump where her thigh ended.

" But yer team-"

" Oi thought yue wanted me to stay!" Snapping, she turned to him.

" Ay due! Ay jus' want to knoe why. Ya' were reluctant in tha' tunnels an' now yer awl gung-ho abou' it."

" Oi told yue, Oi went ta' hell an' back with 'em in those tunnels. Half moi team's dead, the othar half is never comin' out of there, not really. Oi'm no different in tha' respect, but after awl tha' shit oi don' want ta' go back home with 'em only to keep killing and doiying til' oi can't do that no more. Oi got no one there; they've awl got paeple but oi got no one." Her voice tapered off at the end, quivering dangerously, and tavish wrapped his arm around her.

" Okaey."

" Jus' okay?"

" No, there' mar. Ay should get out of this business teu. Ay reckon if yue an' mei hit the rued now, steal a truck an' jus' get out of here, they won' even notice. We can grab mai mum an' be on a plane to somewhere they'll never faind us before you can sei 'Edinburgh'."

" Now?"

" Why no'?" Aoife strapped her leg back on, and kissed Tavish's cheek.

" Oi think oi love yue."

" Ay was hopin' ya did." He chuckled. "Aye'll meet ya in the courtyard in ten minets with a gettaway car of some kind. Thare's alweys a few vehicles layin' aruend."

As he sprinted off in the darkness, Aoife realized she had one thing she needed to do before she left. Ten minutes would be plenty of time if she started now, she'd better get moving.

…

Saanvi felt her father prodding her shoulder, but she didn't want to get up. Still half asleep she muttered, " Babu, leave me alone. It's Saturday,I don't have to go to school." and tried to shrug him off. Didn't he understand the concept of weekends?

" Saanvi!" A female voice urged, most definitely not her father. She flung herself up to sitting and saw Aoife slouching over her bed. She wasn't home, this wasn't a weekend, and she certainly wasn't young enough to be woken up for school in the morning.

" Aoife! What is it? What's gone wrong?" She checked her watch and saw it was 6:30 in the evening. She'd been asleep for about five and a half hours.

" Nothing's wrong." Her sentence was quick, and quiet. Like she didn't quite know what to say.

" Why the hell did you wake me then? Look, I appreciate you wanting to spend time with me and all but I hadn't slept in over twenty four hours-"

" Oi'm leaving." Aoife cut her off.

" What?"

" Tavish knoes. About the asexual bit, and awl. He's leavin' here now and oi'm goin' with 'im."

" Oh." Now it was Saanvi's turn to be quiet. She and Aoife had spent a lot of time together, working on her research. They'd shared secrets, stories from the past, and a lot of feelings along the way. She was leaving, just like that?

" Don' be angrey."

" I'm not angry. I'm just… I'm worried about you."

" Oi knoe. S'why oi'm sayin' goodboi." Silence fell between them.

" Good luck." Saanvi finally said.

" Thanks." Aoife turned

" Aoife?"

" Yeah?"

" Never think he's the best you can do. I'm sure he's great but if anything… anything ever happens don't stay just because he accepted you. There is always someone who's okay with who you are, don't settle just because he's the first." Another pause.

" Oi'll keep tha' in mind." Aoife edged out the door, but as she started to swing it shut she tossed out, " Aromantic."

" What?

" Tha' term fer wha' yue are. It's aromantic. Goodboi."

" B-bye." Saanvi stuttered out still processing what had just happened. Her door was shut, her friend was gone, and in place of her she had a word.

Saanvi wasn't quite sure how she should feel about that. She didn't bother trying to puzzle it out as she fell back to sleep.

…

" Ya awl set?" Tavish said as Aoife slid into the shotgun seat. She nodded. He'd managed to procure a beaten pick up truck, not too flashy but it would get them where they were going. Giving one last look back at the base, he turned the key and heard the engine sputter to life.

" We've gotta grab mai mum before we dash, but aftar tha' is' wide open."

" Oi'm up fer anythin."

The car rolled out of the courtyard, engine protesting a little at first but slowly warming up to the idea of motion. Neither person spoke, the silence almost tangible over the trucks complaints. The future was open, there was no need to speak. No need to repeat what was already understood.

That was the last anyone on either team ever saw of the demolitions. Perhaps they found another purpose in life, perhaps they didn't. Either way in that moment, sober and with an endless sheet of possibilities unrolling before them, they were as close to it as some people ever get.


End file.
